Remember mad-cow-disease? Well, mad-cow-disease became mad-person-disease, which became mad-zombie-disease. It's a fast acting virus which left you angry, crazy, and with a strong case of the munches.Zombieland, by Columbus
Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: Cardio. When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties.Zombieland, by Columbus
Little Rock: 'Who's Bill Murray?'
Tallahassee: 'I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.'
Little Rock: 'Who's Gandhi?'
It's amazing how quickly things can go from 'bad' to 'total shitstorm'.Zombieland, by Columbus
My mother always told me, 'someday you'll be good at somethin'.' Who'd have guessed that 'somethin'' would be 'zombie killin''?Zombieland, by Tallahassee
Tallahassee: 'Out west, we hear it's back east. Back east, they hear it's out west. It's all just nonsense. You know, you're like a penguin on the North Pole who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of the year.'
Columbus: 'There are no penguins on the North Pole.'
Tallahassee: 'You wanna feel how hard I can punch?'
Columbus: 'You should actually, limber up.'
Tallahassee: 'I don't believe in it. You ever seen a lion limber up before taking down a gazelle?'
You are like a giant cock blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab.Zombieland, by Columbus
You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.Zombieland, by Columbus
Bill fucking Murray! I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush. This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I'm such a huge fan of yours.Zombieland, by Tallahassee
Let me begin my three-part apology by saying you're a wonderful human being.Zombieland, by Columbus