Broker: "I found a nice house, but has no furnitures."
Zlatan: "Then you go to IKEA and you get the furnitures."
Broker: "Rich people don't buy furnitures in IKEA."
Zlatan: "No, but intelligent people do."
One year with me and you learned how to win titles.Zlatan Ibrahimović, July 2021, about Gianluigi Donnarumma winning EURO
Chelsea can't sign me, I have more trophies than Chelsea. I should be the one to sign them.Chelsea F.C.Zlatan Ibrahimović, November 2020
I am president, player and coach. The only negative is that I only get paid for being a player.Zlatan Ibrahimović, July 2020
I'm old. That's no secret. Age is just a number!Zlatan Ibrahimović, July 2020
I tested negative to Covid yesterday and positive today. No symptoms what so ever. Covid had the courage to challenge me. Bad idea.Corona-JokesZlatan Ibrahimović, September 2020, via Twitter
I came, I saw, I conquered. Thank you LA Galaxy for making me feel alive again. To the Galaxy fans - you wanted Zlatan, I gave you Zlatan. You are welcome. The story continues... Now go back to watch baseball.Zlatan Ibrahimović, November 2019, via Twitter
I'm from Sweden, I was born in the snow. When it snows, I'm a viking. When it's warm, I'm a lion. We adjust for every condition there is.Sweden, Vikings & NorthmenZlatan Ibrahimović, October 2019
Some players get trophys, some get statues. Some get both.Zlatan Ibrahimović, at the inauguration of his statue, October 8th 2019
I do not need a trophy to tell myself that I am the best.Zlatan Ibrahimović
I think I am difficult to satisfy, because when I win something, I'm already thinking about the next step, and that is maybe a problem for me. I'm not enjoying the moment. I'm already on the mission to win the next trophy.Ambition, SatisfactionZlatan Ibrahimović
Now LA has a God and a King!
Zlatan welcomes @KingJames
What ever I would do, I would be the one I am today. I chose football and I'm sorry for the other fans that are cheering for other sports, because it would be the same thing.Football/SoccerZlatan Ibrahimović in Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Sendung vom 17.04.2018
People told me, 'When you come to Los Angeles, don't worry, you can walk on the streets' But since day one, it's busy everywhere. But it's my own fault. 'Cause when you play the way I do, I mean...Zlatan Ibrahimović in Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Sendung vom 17.04.2018
I wanted to give Los Angeles a gift. I was thinking a long time. And then one day it came like: I should give myself.Zlatan Ibrahimović in Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Sendung vom 17.04.2018
I can play in the 11 positions because a good player can play anywhere.Zlatan Ibrahimović
When you buy me, you are buying a Ferrari. If you drive a Ferrari you put premium petrol in the tank, you hit the motorway and you step on the gas. Guardiola filled up with diesel and took a spin in the countryside. He should have bought a Fiat.FerrariZlatan Ibrahimović, about playing for FC Barcelona and Pep Guardiola
Reporter: "Who will win the World Cup play-off?"
Ibrahimović: "Only God knows."
Reporter: "It's kind of hard to ask him."
Ibrahimović: "Why? You're looking at him now."
One thing is for sure, a World Cup without me is nothing to watch.Zlatan Ibrahimović
I think I'm like wine. The older I get, the better I get.WineZlatan Ibrahimović
There was the thought that this would send me into retirement. I sent their entire country into retirement.Denmark, Funny Football QuotesZlatan Ibrahimović, after qualifying for the EURO 2016 with Sweden against Denmark
I don't believe they can change the Eiffel Tower for my statue, even the people behind the club. But if they can, I will stay here - I promise you.Paris Saint-Germain, Funny Football QuotesZlatan Ibrahimović, about his future at Paris Saint-Germain
Zlatan is just a human. The same way a great white shark is just a fish.Funny Football QuotesZlatan Ibrahimović, via Twitter, October 3rd 2014
I came like a king, left like a legend.Paris Saint-GermainZlatan Ibrahimović, when leaving Paris Saint-Germain
You'll have to ask your wife that one.Zlatan Ibrahimović, after being asked about the scratches in his face
Come over to my house baby, and bring your sister. I'll show you who's gay.Zlatan Ibrahimović, after being asked about his sexual orientation