The best Quotes by Zerocalcare

The best Quotes by Zerocalcare

Michele Rech (born 12 December 1983), known as Zerocalcare, is an Italian cartoonist. His pen name, literally meaning "zero limescale", was inspired by an Italian TV commercial jingle for a descaler product, and was chosen when he needed a nickname to quickly join a discussion on the Internet.

We sowed a lot of seeds but never reaped the fruit.
Tear Along the Dotted Line - Season 1 Episode 1
Although we barely spoke to each other in person, we'd message each other all night on MSN, which was like an ancient forfather to WhatsApp, that allowed even sociopaths to find a mate.
Tear Along the Dotted Line - Season 1 Episode 1
Exactly three seconds had passed since we were introduced to each other and I was already in love. I'm not afraid of using that word. I was so in love, I thought, "you know what? I'm not gonna say a damn thing to her. Otherwise I'll turn as red as a lobster and and she'll think I'm a loser."
Tear Along the Dotted Line - Season 1 Episode 1
Il Principe Degli Sgambetti - The Prince Trip-You-Up
It was about this boy who was terrified of walking down the street, because there was a bully, who was known as the "Prince Trip-You-Up". But in the end, his mom reassured him by saying, that when they grow up, bullies stay idiots and he, on the other hand, will become a great scientist. The boy did grow up to become a great scientist. But the bully also grew up and become known as the "Blade King", because he stabbed people. And so the scientist continued to live in fear of him. The end.
Tear Along the Dotted Line - Season 1 Episode 1

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Why're you playing it so cool when in real life, everytime you say "hi", you start sweating like a pig and looking at your shoes as if you had your lines written there on your laces?
Armadillo in Tear Along the Dotted Line - Season 1 Episode 1
After all, there were other clues that our lives had been built on rather shaky foundations. So we moved slowly because we thought that as long as you tore along the dotted line, life would take the right shape.
"Did you get laid?"
"You're a black belt at dodging life. Fifth dan."
"You should have played online poker."
"I don't know how to play. I would have ended up losing my grandma's house."
Gen Z's most stressful activity is searching for the right meme/GIF to send in their group chat before somebody else says something and the subject changes.
They're exhausting to inflate, they scare the shit out of you when they pop, and uninflated they just look like a pile of clown-condoms.
John Oliver in Last Week Tonight - Boeing
Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"
Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12

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