The best Quotes by Zerocalcare

We sowed a lot of seeds but never reaped the fruit.

Although we barely spoke to each other in person, we'd message each other all night on MSN, which was like an ancient forfather to WhatsApp, that allowed even sociopaths to find a mate.

Exactly three seconds had passed since we were introduced to each other and I was already in love. I'm not afraid of using that word. I was so in love, I thought, "you know what? I'm not gonna say a damn thing to her. Otherwise I'll turn as red as a lobster and and she'll think I'm a loser."

Il Principe Degli Sgambetti - The Prince Trip-You-Up
It was about this boy who was terrified of walking down the street, because there was a bully, who was known as the "Prince Trip-You-Up". But in the end, his mom reassured him by saying, that when they grow up, bullies stay idiots and he, on the other hand, will become a great scientist. The boy did grow up to become a great scientist. But the bully also grew up and become known as the "Blade King", because he stabbed people. And so the scientist continued to live in fear of him. The end.

Why're you playing it so cool when in real life, everytime you say "hi", you start sweating like a pig and looking at your shoes as if you had your lines written there on your laces?

After all, there were other clues that our lives had been built on rather shaky foundations. So we moved slowly because we thought that as long as you tore along the dotted line, life would take the right shape.

"Did you get laid?"
"No."
"You're a black belt at dodging life. Fifth dan."

"You should have played online poker."
"I don't know how to play. I would have ended up losing my grandma's house."

Gen Z's most stressful activity is searching for the right meme/GIF to send in their group chat before somebody else says something and the subject changes.

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"

What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.