The best Puns and Wordplays

Don't cross oceans for people, who wouldn't jump puddles for you.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all.

Michael: "Can we have him for supper?"
Sylvia: "Have him to stay for supper, Michael. We aren't cannibals."

Most people have a rope that ties them to someone, and that rope can be short or it can be long. (Be long. Belong. Get it?) You don't know how long, though. It's not your choice.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

I don't like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.

The older I get, the better I was.

She really had a fat but: her fat butt!