The best Puns and Wordplays

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

Most people have a rope that ties them to someone, and that rope can be short or it can be long. (Be long. Belong. Get it?) You don't know how long, though. It's not your choice.

Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all.

Don't cross oceans for people, who wouldn't jump puddles for you.

I don't like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.

The older I get, the better I was.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass.

She really had a fat but: her fat butt!

Michael: "Can we have him for supper?"
Sylvia: "Have him to stay for supper, Michael. We aren't cannibals."

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.