Most people have a rope that ties them to someone, and that rope can be short or it can be long. (Be long. Belong. Get it?) You don't know how long, though. It's not your choice.Relationships, FamilyNick Hornby in A Long Way Down
Don't cross oceans for people, who wouldn't jump puddles for you.Self-ConfidenceUnknown
I don't like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.Charles Bukowski
The older I get, the better I was.Unknown
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass.
Michael: "Can we have him for supper?"
Sylvia: "Have him to stay for supper, Michael. We aren't cannibals."
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.Markus Herz, often misattributed to Mark Twain