The best Quotes and Sayings about Word & Excel

One of my colleagues keeps typing numbers into her calculator and transfers them into an Excel sheet. I'm crying.

Optimist: The glass is 1/2 full.
Pessimist: The glass is 1/2 empty.
Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

"What do you think about Excel?"
"I hate it."
"Okay, experienced user, then."

"My word is full of little boxes!"
"That is Excel, boss."

Me: "Dear Word, I left some space on page 7 to fill it with an image now."
Word: "Seriously?! Here, I broke your document's format and put the image on page 21. Have fun!"

The secret to a beautiful and well structured Excel sheet is me never having touched it.

Me: "Excel - never again! There's nothing worse."
PowerPoint: "Hello there!"

One of my colleagues asked me to briefly explain Excel to her. I started laughing histerically while setting her computer on fire.

I just wanted to move a picture in Word to the left by one inch... suddenly, my text is gone, the picture's rotated, four new pages appear, the tectonic plates start shifting and earth leaves its orbit.