The best Quotes by Woody Harrelson

The best Quotes by Woody Harrelson

Woodrow Tracy Harrelson (born July 23, 1961) is an American actor. Harrelson first became known for his role as bartender Woody Boyd on the NBC sitcom Cheers (1985–1993). He reprised his role in the acclaimed spinoff series Frasier in 1999.

The state of the health of the individual is equivalent to the state to the health of the colon.

When I'm in New York, I bike everywhere. I have a couple of bikes stored over at Ed Norton's. It's the only way to go. But in Hawaii, I drive. I have a little Volkswagen Bug, from the "Drive it? Hug it?" phase. I run it on biodiesel.

I try to apply the organic concept to my clothes and bedding as well. There's nothing like swimming in organic cotton sheets.

Pesticides came about after the first world war. Some brainy petrochemical money maker said, 'Hey, that mustard gas worked great on people, maybe we could dilute it down and spray it on our crops to deal with pests.'

In the courtroom, it's where a lawyer really becomes an actor. There's a very fine line between delivering a monologue in a play and delivering a monologue to a jury. I've always felt that way - I've been in a lot of courtrooms. The best lawyers are really theatrical.

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Come in close, because the more you think you see, the easier it'll be to fool you.

Thaddeus Bradley in Now You See Me

19

Remember mad-cow-disease? Well, mad-cow-disease became mad-person-disease, which became mad-zombie-disease. It's a fast acting virus which left you angry, crazy, and with a strong case of the munches.

Columbus in Zombieland

Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: Cardio. When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties.

Columbus in Zombieland

Little Rock: "Who's Bill Murray?"
Tallahassee: "I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is."
Little Rock: "Who's Gandhi?"

Little Rock in Zombieland

Mahatma Gandhi Bill Murray

It's amazing how quickly things can go from 'bad' to 'total shitstorm'.

Columbus in Zombieland

My mother always told me, 'someday you'll be good at somethin'.' Who'd have guessed that 'somethin'' would be 'zombie killin''?

Tallahassee in Zombieland

Tallahassee: "Out west, we hear it's back east. Back east, they hear it's out west. It's all just nonsense. You know, you're like a penguin on the North Pole who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of the year."
Columbus: "There are no penguins on the North Pole."
Tallahassee: "You wanna feel how hard I can punch?"

Tallahassee in Zombieland

Columbus: "You should actually, limber up."
Tallahassee: "I don't believe in it. You ever seen a lion limber up before taking down a gazelle?"

Tallahassee in Zombieland

You are like a giant c*ck blocking robot, like developed in a secret f*cking government lab.

Columbus in Zombieland

You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.

Columbus in Zombieland

Bill f*cking Murray! I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush. This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I'm such a huge fan of yours.

Tallahassee in Zombieland

Let me begin my three-part apology by saying you're a wonderful human being.

Columbus in Zombieland

I'm gonna be a pilot. The best in the galaxy.

Han Solo in Solo: A Star Wars Story

Dante: "[seeing a Confederate flag] What? Are you serious?"
Lila: "Newsflash, we're in deep Texas."

Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 2022

The stars at night, are big and bright,
deep in the heart of Texas,
The prairie sky is wide and high,
deep in the heart of Texas.

1

Of course, nobody I knew in East-Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian Physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig.

Sheldon Cooper in Young Sheldon - Season 1 Episode 1

1

When a Texan gets knocked off a horse, he gets right back on. That is the second most important thing about bein' a Texan, right after thinkin' you're better than everybody else.

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 4 Episode 8

"Did you grow up in Texas?"
Meemaw: "Took my first bath in a ten-gallon hat."

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 2 Episode 13

Sheldon: "Texas, Oklahoma... what's the difference?"
Meemaw: "Hey, now, I think you might want to crack open your psychology textbook 'cause that there is crazy talk."

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 2 Episode 9

Thought it was a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. A magical power holding together good and evil, the dark side and the light? Crazy thing is, it's true. The Force, the Jedi - all of it. It's all true.

Han Solo in Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

2

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

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