Quote by Wednesday Addams (Season 1 Episode 2)

Dead people are notoriously bad at returning calls.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 2

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Amanda: "I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies."
Wednesday: "Are they made from real Girl Scouts?"

Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family

Weems: "No doubt you'll find something that tickles your fancy."
Wednesday: "The last person who tickled me lost a finger."

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 2

This story is about to take a dark turn. Usually, I love dark turns. Like when the carousel brakes myteriously failed at my eighth birthdays party.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 2

Never bring a knife to a sword fight. Unless it's concealed.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

Weapons Knifes

I find Social Media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

Social Media

Morticia: "That boy's family was going to file attempted murder charges. How would that have looked on your record?"
Wednesday: "Terrible. Everyone would know I failed to get the job done."

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

I'm not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago... but I admire the sadism.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

School High School

I cried my little black heart out. But tears don't fix anything. So I vowed to never do it again.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

I act as if I don't care if people dislike me. Deep down, I actually enjoy it.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1

Marylin Thornhill: "I trust Enid has given you the old Nevermore welcome."
Wednesday: "She's been smothering me with hospitality. I hope to return the favor... in her sleep."

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

Morticia: "Please excuse Wednesday. She's allergic to color."
Enid: "Wow, what happens to you?"
Wednesday: "I break out into hives, and then the flesh peels off my bones."

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

I don't have a phone. I refuse to be a slave to technology.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

Smartphones

Little did I know that I would be stepping into a nightmare full of mystery, mayhem and murder. I think I'm going to love it here.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1

Enid Sinclair: "Want to take a stab at being social?"
Wednesday: "I do like stabbing. The social part, not so much."

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 2

Emotion equals weakness.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

Feelings & Emotions

I did the world a favor. People like Dalton shouldn't be allowed to procreate. Getting expelled was just a bonus.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

The only person who gets to torture my brother is me.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

You must be the self-appointed Queen Bee. Interesting thing about bees. Pull out their stingers, they drop dead.

Wednesday Addams in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

Bees

Morticia: "Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind."
Grandmother: "Boys?"
Wednesday: "Homocide."

Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family - Addams Family Values

Wednesday: "Pass the salt."
Morticia: "And what do we say?"
Wednesday: "Now!"

Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family

Living under this roof is all the torment you'll need. Besides, our parents have made it clear that the only way to be accepted in this family is to be exactly like them. I can't play by those rules anymore.

Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family

Morticia: "How was school?"
Pugsley: "Terrible. Especially history."
Wednesday: "Yeah, they never tell us anything interesting. Like, how many heads they chopped off in the French Revolution."

Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family

Gomez: "Children, why do you hate the baby?"
Pugsley: "We don't hate him. We just want to play with him."
Wednesday: "Especially his head."

Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family - Addams Family Values

It's getting dark in this little heart of mine.

Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family

"Where is that baby?"
"Which part?"

Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family

Dear mother and father,

I hate you.

Love, Wednesday

Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family

You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, "Do not trust the Pilgrims. Especially Sarah Miller." And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground!

Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family

Native American

Just as long as you're lakeside cheering us to victory on race day... or you can just glare uncomfortably. Whatever works for you.

Enid Sinclair in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 2

Larissa: "So you automatically assume a Nevermore student is the murderer, even though there's no evidence a crime was even committed."
Donovan: "I'm sorry. I forgot, you only teach the good outcasts here, right?"

Donovan Galpin in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 2

Wednesday: "So you were guided by latent chivalry, the tool of the patriarchy, to extract my undying gratitude?"
Xavier: "Most people just say 'thank you'."

Xavier Thorpe in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

Have you ever been told you're different, odd, or simply don't belong? In a world full of normies, do you feel like an outcast? Me too. But I'm pleased to tell you there's a very special place for people like us. Nevermore Academy.

Wednesday - Season 1

Finally, you will be among pears who understand you. Maybe you'll even make some friends.

Morticia Addams in Wednesday - Season 1

Miss Addams, you sadly had a very interesting educational journey. Eight schools in five years.

Larissa Weems in Wednesday - Season 1 Episode 1

Gomez: "He has my father's eyes."
Morticia: "Gomez, take those out of his mouth."

Morticia Addams in The Addams Family - Addams Family Values

Don't torture yourself, Gomez - that's my job.

Morticia Addams in The Addams Family

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

Quote by Wednesday Addams (Season 1 Episode 2)

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