The best Quotes by Waldorf & Statler

Series-Quotes
The best Quotes by Waldorf & Statler

Statler and Waldorf are a pair of Muppet characters from the sketch comedy television series The Muppet Show, best known for their cantankerous opinions and shared penchant for heckling.

The Muppet Show - Season 1 Episode 2
The Muppet Show - Season 4 Episode 13
The Muppet Show - Season 4 Episode 3
The Muppet Show - Season 2 Episode 1
The Muppet Show - Season 5 Episode 18
Sesame Street
The Muppet Show - Season 4 Episode 18
The Muppet Show - Season 4 Episode 17
The Muppet Show - Season 5 Episode 24
The Muppet Show - Season 1 Episode 6
The Muppet Show - Season 3 Episode 6
The Muppet Show - Season 2 Episode 15
The Muppet Show - Season 1 Episode 1
Milton Berle: "You're the two guys that I heard about that heckle from the box, huh? There they are ladies and gentlemen. Take a good look at them. Starski & Crutch. Now don't start with me boys, don't start."
Statler: "Hey, Berle."
Milton Berle: "What?"
Statler: "You know what? I've just figured out your style."
Milton Berle: "Really?"
Statler: "You work like Gregory Peck."
Milton Berle: "Gregory Peck's not a comedian."
Statler: "Well?"
Milton Berle: "Now just a minute, please. I have been a successful comedian half of my life."
Waldorf: "How come we got this half?"
Milton Berle: "Look, did you two come in here to be entertained or not?"
Statler: "That's right."
Milton Berle: "What's right?"
Statler: "We came in here to be entertained, and we're not!"
Milton Berle: "Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you come down here and be funny."
Waldorf: "You first!"
Milton Berle: "Don't pay any attention to him, folks. He's the ninth child of a family of eight! Let me tell the story."
Statler: "Hey, hey, Berle!"
Milton Berle: "Ohhh... Yeah, what is it? What is it?"
Statler: "You know what you're doing wrong?"
Milton Berle: "What'm I doing wrong?"
Statler: "You're standing too close to the audience."
Milton Berle: "Oh, yeah? How is this?"
Statler: "You're still too close."
Milton Berle: "Oh, sorry. Is this okay?"
Statler: "No, a little more."
Milton Berle: "How far back do you want me to go?"
Statler: "You got a car?"
Milton Berle: "Let me tell you something: If you don't stop, I'll have the usher throw you out!"
Waldorf: "He can't. He's too busy."
Milton Berle: "Doing what?"
Waldorf: "Keeping people in!"
Milton Berle: "And you're encouraging them! That's what you're doing! You know, I got a good mind to punch you in your nose."
Waldorf: "Please, not while I'm holding it."
Milton Berle: "That's very funny."
Waldorf: "Ah, you can use it."
Milton Berle: "I don't need your material, pal. I got a million funny lines in the back of my head."
Statler: "Yeah? How come they never reach your mouth?"
The Muppet Show - Season 2 Episode 3

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