Nobility and heroism is fine and all, but we're in this for the money.
Liam O'Brien / Vax'ildan in Vox Machina, Season 1 Episode 1Ethics are a luxury we currently can't afford.
Taliesin Jaffe / Percy de Rolo in Vox Machina, Season 1 Episode 1Percy: "Well, perhaps if someone didn't accidentally decapitate the last fellow who hired us."
Grog: "Well, I apologized, didn't I?"
Tavern Keeper: "First, you people drink me dry, then you destroy my tavern. And what is that gnome doing with my daughter?"
Scanlan: "It's probably best you don't know."
My lady's rose I will pluck
My love, it's time for us to f-
Percy: "Grog wins. Again."
Vax'ildan: "F- me. Why do we always play drinking games with a guy twice our size?"
Vex'ahlia: "Because it's the fastest way to get drunk, obviously."
Long ago, in another realm stood the majestic kingdom of Tal'Dorei. Once the battlefield of gods and titans, its lands now harbor magic, wonder and mystery. It was a time of peace... until a great evil arrived. A brave group of heroes banded together, ready to face this evil.
Matthew Mercer / Dungeon Master in Vox Machina, Season 1 Episode 1Your Excellence tried the best fighters, who've adventured far and wide
But I promise that you've never met a troop so qualified
There's Grog our mighty giant, he's a simpleminded hulk
And Percy's pepperbox can blow apart your f-ing skull
Nature hath no fury quite like Keyleth the Ashari
Controlling plants and animals, she's a magical safari
The twins Vex and Vax, she shoots, he hides in the pitch
They're stealthy and quite deadly but I forget which one is which
Pike's divinity is pure, her hands can always heal
Oh, and did I mention we have a bear? Trinket, no big deal
And as for myself? My name is Scanlan, the man with the phat purple hand
My music's the jam, going ham, you can't stand it
Get some water, hide your daughters
Brave warriors are we and far more clever than a fox
They'll tell tale of our exploits in the Legend of Vox - Machina
Pike: "If protecting carts from swindlers and killing goblins for gold isn't getting us anywhere, maybe we try doing some good this time?!"
Everyone: "Nah."
Grog: "Boring."
Sylas: "You keep an eye on that house, I'll go get the others."
Grog: "Right. Can you pick me up a sandwich on the way back?"
Open your back door, baby
Loosen your hinges, I'll show you my key