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"Hey, would you mind if I smoke a cigarette?"
"I wouldn't even mind when you lit yourself on fire."

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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill

Dump-Quotes Funny Politician Quotes Funny Insults

Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth, I would be trying to start a family with Baldrick.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

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Actually, I wanted to stop being mean. But everyone else has to stop being dumb first.

Foolishness Dump-Quotes

Casanova: "Hello, beautiful. May I take this seat?"
Rachel Stone: "Take it anywhere you like."

Heart of Stone

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I only want one thing of men, and that is, that they should leave me alone.

D. H. Lawrence in Lady Chatterley's Lover

Feminism Dump-Quotes

When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome. And then, of course, you spoke.

Carol Connelly in As Good As It Gets

Dump-Quotes Mouth

"The only time you seem honest is when you're insulting someone!"
"The only honest things I can say to you are insults."

Brandon Sanderson in The Stormlight Archive - Words of Radiance

Dump-Quotes Funny Insults

If I were in your shoes I would be looking for someone a little more entertaining, a little more fun, and maybe even a little more attainable.

Jadzia Dax in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Season 5 Episode 3

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They missed a great opportunity to shut up.

Jacques Chirac

Dump-Quotes Funny Politician Quotes Mouth

I'm really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I'm not interested in dating anyone. I'm extremly busy with work and raising my son, and I just have no room in my life for the kind of intimacy you are clearly craving. But I really comment you on your directness and your bravado and I really hope that you find what you're looking for. Goodbye, now.

Dr. Jean Milburn in Sex Education - Season 1 Episode 2

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Can't spell STUPID without U right in the middle.

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Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Deadpool

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

There are two kinds of big companies in the United States. There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese, and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese.

James Comey

China Hackers

I believe that Americans should be deeply skeptical of government power. You cannot trust people in power. The founders knew that. That's why they divided power among three branches, to set interest against interest.

James Comey

I will do everything if confirmed as FBI director to make sure the American public knows the full weight of what happened.

Kash Patel - Januar 2025

The Epstein Files

Technology has forever changed the world we live in. We're online, in one way or another, all day long. Our phones and computers have become reflections of our personalities, our interests, and our identities. They hold much that is important to us.

James Comey

Smartphones

There are well over 250 victims, so we have to make sure that their identity is protected. Other than that, I think tomorrow you're gonna see some Epstein information being released by my office. What you're gonna see is a lot of flight-logs, a lot of names, a lot of information.

Pam Bondi - February 2025

The Epstein Files

The people of the FBI are sworn to protect both security and liberty. It isn't a question of conflict. We must care deeply about protecting liberty through due process of law, while also safeguarding the citizens we serve - in every investigation.

James Comey

FBI

It's sitting on my desk right now to review. The Trump administration is committed to truth and transparency.

Pam Bondi - February 2025

The Epstein Files

It's a very delicate subject but we should put everything out there and let the people decide it.

Mike Johnson - July 2025

The Epstein Files

All I'm going to say is I put my hand on a Bible, and I raised my right hand and swore to uphold the Constitution of the state of Florida.

Pam Bondi

Florida

Historically, there has been a clear and essential connection between marriage and responsible procreation and child rearing.

Pam Bondi

Will I support our president, whoever that might be? Absolutely. Did I vote for Donald Trump? Absolutely.

Pam Bondi

Donald Trump

Anyone who attacks our LGBT community, anyone who attacks anyone in our state, will be gone after with the full extent of the law.

Pam Bondi

All I want to do is be the best attorney general that I can be.

Pam Bondi

For too long, government bureaucracies have hindered the growth of businesses not only in Louisiana, but all across the United States.

Mike Johnson

Louisiana

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