Quotes by unknown authors (Page 7)

When life gives you pineapples, add rum and make Piña Colada!

I'm like a pineapple: Spiky but sweet.

What do you call someone who likes pineapple but not on their pizza?
Sane.

There are two types of people: those who love pineapple on pizza, and those who are stupid.

Please don't create any review videos for 2022 - going through it once was enough for me.

Just a little life-hack for women: If you don't want men to stare at your breasts - eat a banana!

Aquarius won't chase after anyone. If you wanna walk out of their life they'll hold the door open.

Aquarius do not like to take orders from others.

An Aquarius is a master at ignoring people.

How to spoil Aquarius
- Give them time and space
- Explore a new hobby together
- Listen to them but don't force them to open up
- Be open about their theories
- Trivia quiz game night

Don't fall with an Aquarius because they see the world very differently than most. And they'll see you differently. What you see as flaws they see as beauty. What you see as mistakes they see as opportunities to learn. They are always looking at the glass half full and they'll help you to see things that way.
Don't fall in love with an Aquarius unless you're ready for the adventure of your life!

If Capricorns have their eye on something they will get it no matter how long it takes.

If you are offended by Capricorn's words, know that they only let out 1%.

Don't try to understand Capricorn. Their mind is too deep for you.

When Aquarius get hurt, they don't get emotional, they just turn cold and heartless.

Capricorn's heart is like a buried treasure that can only be found with patience.

You will never win trying to manipulate a Scorpio. They're the masters of reverse psychology.

The struggles of Capricorn
- Asking for help
- Taking a break
- Opening up about their struggles
- Letting people in their circle
- Actually enjoying life

You will never know 100% what a Scorpio is thinking. Even if you ask directly they will only give you what they think you can handle.

Scorpio may want you, but they don't need you.

How to spoil Capricorn
- Praise them for their accomplishments
- Respect their rules
- Be consistent in putting in efforts
- Spend time together without talking
- Make plans ahead and stick to them
- Take their advice

Sagittarius hates drama, but drama loves them.

Sagittarius - I don't go crazy, I AM crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

A Sagittarius can say things so bluntly you won't know if you should be upset or love their honesty.

How to spoil Sagittarius
- Spontaneous road trips
- Buy them a good book
- Explore a new city with them
- Dance to a love song
- Give them space and freedom
- Try new things together

A Sagittarius attitude is the reflection of how you treat them. If you give them an attitude, expect it 10x back.

Sagittarius fall in love without thinking about the consequences.

I am optimistic. I am straightforward. I am Sagittarius.

S - Spontaneous
A - Adventurous
G - Genuine
I - Intelligent
T - Tireless
T - Tactful
A - Alluring
R - Robust
I - Insightful
U - Upbeat
S - Sharp-witted

Gotta be happy to even be recognized by Sagittarius. They're not the kind of people that rely on others.

I sleep when I'm dead!

Sagittarius are energetic and craves adventures. They live their lifes to the fullest and aren't scared of taking risks. They love traveling and hate to be locked down at one place.

After my shower yesterday, I felt really sexy. Even my towel got wet.

Me under the shower: 2% washing, 8% singing, 90% contemplaining about life decisions.

Me before showering: I don't feel like taking a shower.
Me in the very moment I start showeing: What? It's been 30 minutes already?

Work is great. So, always keep something for tomorrow!

Since my co-workers know that they can't talk to me before I had my first cup of coffee, I don't drink it before 5 pm.

"I've had this very problem last week."
"So, what did you do about it?"
"Knocked off and went home."

Bought a new vacuum on Black Friday. It sucks!

Black Friday is a scam. You should be mad they overcharge you 364 days a year!

Have you ever had sex at a music festival?
It's f*cking in tents (intense).

What do you call a group of people waiting to get into a Pride festival?
An LGBT queue.

Here's to the nights that turned into mornings,
and the friends that turned into family!

15,000 dead for 5,760 minutes of football. Shame on you!

I have to get out with something... I prefer drinking cacao to coffee.

"Are witches bad?"
"No. Though some of them are so full of darkness that when you look into their eyes, you think you'll never see the light again."

Why shouldn't you let flying horses play Among Us?
Because they're Pega-sus!

I'm so f*cking tired of Among Us jokes!
Sorry, I just had to vent.

Nothing like the sexual tension between you and the person who just watched you jump out of a vent.

What does the impostor have in common with me at work?
We're both pretending to engage in tasks to avoid general suspicion.