One of the both of us is smarter than you are.Funny InsultsUnknown
Wenn your boss enters the office and walks by you it's really important to look very busy and productive kldshf sdfjhsdkj wekjhewr kjwerhkwejrn kje jwelewr jewnsa until he's gone.OfficesUnknown
One of my colleagues keeps typing numbers into her calculator and transfers them into an Excel sheet. I'm crying.Word & ExcelUnknown
Do you know why Oklahoma's state slogan is "Oklahoma is OK"?
Because they can't spell "mediocre".
"Why did Oklahoma raise the minimum drinking age to 25?"
"They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools!"
Inflation is the moment where even poor people can own a lot of money.InflationUnknown
Inflation is just like pregnancy: there's no legal way to stop it.InflationUnknown
I'd love to be a wasp. First, I'm gonna ruin someone's BBQ and then I'll drown myself in their beer.Barbecue, WaspsUnknown
"Wasps can eat up to 50 grams of insects per day."
Not the ones that live in my garden. They drink 2 cans of coke, devour a steak and get angry when the ketchup's empty.
Wasp 1: "Maybe we should stop acting so aggressive around humans. Our reputation's pretty bad."
Wasp 2: "Yeah, you're right. But... isn't that our ice cream this human over there is eating?"
Never trust a smiling gamemaster!Pen & PaperUnknown
The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.Pen & PaperUnknown
I am the gamemaster.
Rule #1: You do what I tell you to do.
Rule #2: I'm always right.
Rule #3: In case I'm not right, execute rule #1.
And like the moon, we must go through phases of emptiness to feel full again.MoonUnknown
The moon taught me there is beauty in darkness too, that even when I don't feel whole, I am enough.MoonUnknown
Why can't Jameis Winston use the phone anymore?
Because he can't find the receiver.
Of course I'll be wearing a jacket in my appartment during winter to save gas and energy, while the Football World Cup is hosted in air-conditioned stadiums in the middle of the desert of Qatar. Everyone's doing their share!FIFA World Cup 2022Unknown
She's a 10 but likes the Star Wars sequels.Unknown
Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs - send him to KFC.KFCUnknown
Good girls are waiting for the prince on his horse.
Smart girls are taking the horse themselves.
Bad girls are riding on the prince.
Well-behaved women seldom make history.Bad GirlsUnknown
Good girls come to heaven, bad girls twice a day.Bad GirlsUnknown
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go where ever they like.Bad GirlsUnknown
Daddy just fainted. Told him not to read my diary...Bad GirlsUnknown
Good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught yet.Bad GirlsUnknown
A Leo can decide quickly if they like someone or not, if they don't like you then there's not a damn thing you can do about it.Leo ♌Unknown
Leos need that me-and-you-against-the-world type of relationship.Leo ♌Unknown
Don't fall in love with Leos unless you are going to give them 100% honesty and attention.Leo ♌Unknown
Leo will never stand aside and watch you suffer.Leo ♌Unknown
If you want a good argument, start one with a Leo.Leo ♌Unknown
Leos don't give up - like a lion, chasing it's prey until it gets it.Leo ♌Unknown
Leo - temperament, strong personality and a heart made of gold!Leo ♌Unknown
Time doesn't heal all wounds.Unknown
Zodiac Sign Cancer - hard shell, soft core.Cancer ♋Unknown
The struggles of cancer:
- They ignore their needs
- They are everyone's therapist
- They dwell in sad songs
- They can't let go of grudges
- They blame themselves for someone else's faults
Even when Cancer become mother and father, they are still children inside.Cancer ♋Unknown
A Cancer is someone who lands in situations that constantly test their emotional strength.Cancer ♋Unknown
The symbol of Cancer is the crab because, just like it, it has a hard outer shell, but deep inside it is soft and can be crushed and hurt easily.Cancer ♋Unknown
Cancers prefer to figure things out on their own.Cancer ♋Unknown
Don't ever let a recipe tell you how much garlic to put in. You measure that with your heart.Cooking, GarlicUnknown
She's a 10 but thinks she's a 5. He's a 5 but thinks he's a 10. And now they're married.She's a 10Unknown
She's a 10 but, bro, she doesn't want you.She's a 10Unknown
She's a 10 but she bases her standards on romance books.She's a 10Unknown
She's a 10 but she has raging anxiety and overthinks everything.She's a 10Unknown
She's a 10 but she had unrestricted access to the internet at a young age.She's a 10Unknown
She's a 10, but can also play as a false 9 or out wide.She's a 10Unknown
She's a 10 but she audibly gasps whenever she hears a one direction song playing while out in public.She's a 10Unknown
She's a 10 but you must tell her "good morning" and "good night" or she think you hate her.She's a 10Unknown
She's a 10 but says "they sang this on Glee" whenever she hears a song they performed on Glee.She's a 10Unknown
She's a 10 but forgets about her Animal Crossing island for 6 months.She's a 10Unknown