The best Quotes from Uncoupled

Being single's an attitude. The minute you are desperate for a relationship, never gonna find one.

Michael: "Come on. I mean, 50? 50 is so young."
Colin: "People only use '50' and 'so young' in the same sentence at a funeral."

I prepped your birthday breakfast, but my showing got moved up by an hour, so you'll have to finish without me for the second time today.

I don't wanna f*ck it up because one of us didn't prepare for the slim possibility of New York City traffic!

Michael: "We got robbed. The housekeeper said they took clothes and wine. And what else? A Sonos speaker and Hermès towels that are too nice to actually use."
Suzanne: "Sounds like somebody's havin' a gay yard sale."

Play hard to get if you want to get him hard again.

Michael: "I walked into this club. I saw Colin, and I thought...-"
Suzanne: "He's the one!"
Michael: "No, I thought, 'How can I find a way to rub on his ass and look like I'm just dancing?'"

That is just the cherry on the shit parfait that is my life lately. I went out with that guy I met on Hinge. Suffice it to say, they should rename that app "Unhinged". The psycho ba-tard told me I would be so hot if I lost ten pounds, but I could sit on his face anyway.

The man leaves you cold, and you buy him a present? What's in there? Brass knuckles to punch you in the face with?

I remember Hell's Kitchen when you couldn't walk west of Ninth Avenue without getting knifed. Now it's Chelsea with better gays.

Trust me, you do not wanna be gay and single in this town. At our age, you're invisible.

Three vodka sodas, please! What do you guys want?

Do you have any idea what it's like to be single again for a gay man at my age?

Michael: "Hey, birthday boy! Gosh, the tension in your shoulders is off the charts. What's going on?"
Colin: "I took my clothes and some things, and I moved out."

Oh, men. Do we love 'em for the d-ck or the date?

God, why are you jumping up at me like that the second I walk in the door? Gives me flashbacks to when I had to raise my children.

No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.

There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders.

Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.

All grown-ups were once children... but only few of them remember it.

Potatoes become french fries, chips and vodka. I'm starting to think that other vegetables aren't really trying.

Even in the darkness, diamonds still shine.

Why would anyone want to be a pirate? It's the best thing there is. Wind in your back. The salty sea air. Loyal crew by your side.

What if everything that came from the past were influenced by the future?

It takes much more courage to be in love than it does for war.

Don't exploit an advantage just because it emerges; wait until the optimal moment, then strike.

Ats Ayittey: "Excuse me but this is the quiet carriage."
Stefan Tovell: "Shut the f*ck up then."

"Hey. Do you like bad boys?"
"Sure do. Let me know if you find one."