Quotes by Uncle Roger

If you have peanut allergy your life so sad. You go to Asia, you eat egg-fried-rice - it's like russian roulette.

Is this street food like Asian street food? Like, do you get food poisoning afterward? That's how you know it's authentic.

Where you learn how to make rice? Some white people cooking school?

This rice look so wet. Look at this, you can see your reflection inside. Mulan is gonna start singing when she see this rice.

How are people vegan? Vegan don't know how to enjoy life.

Uuuh, sausage. So tender, so moist - opposite of my ex wife.

Just eat peanut! Hospital very close, don't worry.

Many people complain garlic give them bad breath. But don't worry, Uncle Roger single, not kissing anyone anyway.

Uncle Roger love my wok so much. I think I am pan-sexual.

Tofu?! You know that is last thing on menu for a reason?

Rice in waffle-maker? No no no! Who cook rice like this? Go back to Mars, you alien person! Uncle Roger sad.

You don't need to use the whole thing, such a waste! Do you think, banana leaf grow on tree?

You hear sizzling, I hear my ancestors crying.

Grease not disgusting, grease is best part of meat. What you're doing?! No no no! This woman putting grease in sink - you killing the sink and you killed the meat also.

Chicken feet - best part of chicken. Uncle Roger have foot fetish, but only for chicken. Human feet I don't like.

MSG is the king of flavor. If you sad in life - use MSG. If you happy in life - use MSG. Put MSG in everything, it'll turn it better. You just get a baby? Put MSG on baby.

Gordon have two wok? That is two more wok than all the British chef out there.

Doesn't matter if you Asian, white, black, or green - everybody should use "haiya". Especially green people, because your skin green - that is sad life.

If your parent make you toast for dinner they don't love you. That is their way of telling you, you adopted.

Uncle Roger is family friendly character!