The best Quotes by Uncle Roger

The best Quotes by Uncle Roger

Nigel Ng Kin-ju (born 15 March 1991) is a Malaysian stand-up comedian and Internet celebrity based in England. Ng is better known by his online persona Uncle Roger, a stereotypical middle-aged Asian man reviewing Asian food recipes who speaks with an exaggerated and pronounced Cantonese–like accent.

Image: Albin Olsson, Creative Commons
If you have peanut allergy your life so sad. You go to Asia, you eat egg-fried-rice - it's like russian roulette.
Is this street food like Asian street food? Like, do you get food poisoning afterward? That's how you know it's authentic.
Uncle Roger Review COOKING FAILS - ft. Ozzy Man
Where you learn how to make rice? Some white people cooking school?
This rice look so wet. Look at this, you can see your reflection inside. Mulan is gonna start singing when she see this rice.
Uncle Roger HATE Jamie Oliver Egg Fried Rice
How are people vegan? Vegan don't know how to enjoy life.
Uuuh, sausage. So tender, so moist - opposite of my ex wife.
Uncle Roger Review COOKING FAILS - ft. Ozzy Man
Just eat peanut! Hospital very close, don't worry.
Many people complain garlic give them bad breath. But don't worry, Uncle Roger single, not kissing anyone anyway.
Uncle Roger love my wok so much. I think I am pan-sexual.
Tofu?! You know that is last thing on menu for a reason?
Rice in waffle-maker? No no no! Who cook rice like this? Go back to Mars, you alien person! Uncle Roger sad.
You don't need to use the whole thing, such a waste! Do you think, banana leaf grow on tree?
You hear sizzling, I hear my ancestors crying.
Uncle Roger HATE Jamie Oliver Egg Fried Rice
Grease not disgusting, grease is best part of meat. What you're doing?! No no no! This woman putting grease in sink - you killing the sink and you killed the meat also.
Chicken feet - best part of chicken. Uncle Roger have foot fetish, but only for chicken. Human feet I don't like.
MSG is the king of flavor. If you sad in life - use MSG. If you happy in life - use MSG. Put MSG in everything, it'll turn it better. You just get a baby? Put MSG on baby.
Gordon have two wok? That is two more wok than all the British chef out there.
Doesn't matter if you Asian, white, black, or green - everybody should use "haiya". Especially green people, because your skin green - that is sad life.
If your parent make you toast for dinner they don't love you. That is their way of telling you, you adopted.
Uncle Roger is family friendly character!

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Life-hack #387:
Rice doesn't clump when you cook the grains individually.
A meal without rice is like a pretty girl with only one eye.
"We'll need 2 cups of rice and 6 cups of water."
"I'm not sure if I've got that many cups."
I can cook rice in two portions:
1. Strict diet for a model
2. Enough for all the orcs of Mordor to survive for two weeks
In Japanese, sushi does not mean "raw fish". It means "seasoned rice".
When you have lemons, you make lemonade; and when you have rice, you make rice balls.
Believe you can, then you will.
The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.
Emperor of China in Mulan
Mulan: "Would you like to stay for dinner?"
Grandmother Fa: "Would you like to stay forever?"
Grandmother Fa in Mulan
You're at peace because you know it's okay to be afraid.
No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it.
Emperor of China in Mulan
I'm doomed, and all 'cause 'Miss Man' decides to take her little drag show on the road.
Mushu in Mulan
What beautiful blossoms we have this year! But look, this one's late. But I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all!
Mulan: "No one will listen!"
Mushu: "Huh? I'm sorry, did you say something?"
Mushu in Mulan
What? What do you mean you're not lucky? You lied to me?! [to the horse] And what are you, a sheep?
Mushu in Mulan
Dragon! Dragon, not lizard! I don't do that tongue thing.
Mushu in Mulan
Words of affirmation!? I was raised by Asian parents. I've never heard one word of affirmation in my life. Their love language is verbal abuse.
Don't stereotype Asian people. Also, there's a good chance they're doctors, so they can help you out if you are worried.
I think I am against stereotype. Generally, Asian guys are more quiet – they study and have a good work ethic. Generally, I have none of those things.
All these zombies and I was almost killed by an Asian woman driving!
They talk about the failure of socialism but where is the success of capitalism in Africa, Asia and Latin America?
Don't ever let a recipe tell you how much garlic to put in. You measure that with your heart.
If you "can't kiss someone" after eating garlic, you're doing both wrong.
You can never have too much garlic. With enough garlic, you could eat the New York Times.
One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.
Joe Biden - März 2024

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