There's nothing in the world more powerful than a good story. Nothing can stop it, no enemy can defeat it.StoriesTyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 8 Episode 6
Tens of thousands of innocent lives for one not particularly innocent dwarf. Seems like a fair trade.Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 8 Episode 5
Varys: 'He's a man, which makes him more appealing to the lords of Westeros, whose support we are going to need.'
Tyrion: 'Joffrey was a man. I don't think a cock is a true qualification, as I'm sure you'd agree.'
Tyrion: 'Maybe we should have stayed married.'
Sansa: 'You were the best of them.'
Tyrion: 'Terrifying thought.'
Tyrion: 'You should consider yourself lucky. At least your balls won't freeze off.'
Varys: 'You take great offense at dwarf jokes, but love telling eunuch jokes. Why is that?'
Tyrion: 'Because I have balls, and you don't.'
Who needs wealth when you can make a woman laugh?Laughing & Smile, Money, WomenTyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 5 Episode 3
Grand Maester Pycelle made the same joke. You must be proud to be as funny as a man whose balls brush his knees.Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 3 Episode 1
The powerful have always preyed on the powerless, that's how they became powerful in the first place.PowerTyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 5 Episode 1
Joffrey: 'If I tell the Hound to cut you in half, he'll do it without a second thought.'
Tyrion: 'That would make me the quarter-man. Just doesn't have the same ring to it.'
Tyrion: 'A wise man once said a true history of the world is a history of great conversations in elegant rooms.'
Missandei: 'Who said this?'
Tyrion: 'Me, just now.'
Bronn: 'I'm sorry it has to be this way.'
Tyrion: 'Why are you sorry? Because you're an evil bastard with no conscience and no heart? That's what I liked about you in the first place.'
Drinking and lust, no man can match me in these things.Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 3 Episode 8
'How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?'
Tyrion: 'In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock.'
Never forget who you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used against you.Self-ConfidenceTyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones
Tyrion: 'It was a gift, Podrick. This is more than I give you in a year!'
Bronn: 'He's a squire. You don't pay him.'
Tyrion: 'Oh, then it's much more than I give you in a year.'
Tyrion: 'Any advice for me on my new position?'
Petyr: 'Keep a low profile.'
Tyrion: 'If I had a gold dragon for every time I heard that joke, I'd be richer than you are.'
Petyr: 'Well, you are richer than I am.'
Tyrion: 'Good point.'
Cersei: 'You're a clever man, but you're not half as clever as you think you are.'
Tyrion: 'Still makes me more clever than you.'
Death is so final, whereas life is full of possibilities.Life, DeathTyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 1 Episode 2
That's what I do. I drink and I know things.Knowledge, AlcoholTyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 6 Episode 2
You just sent the most powerful man in Westeros to bed without his supper.Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 3 Episode 10
I don't pay you to put evil notions in my head. The ones already there don't need company.Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 3 Episode 7