The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. It's to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually you'll be dead.Happiness0
That's the problem with life, you either know what you want, and you don't get what you want, or you get what you want, and you don’t know what you want.Life0
You are a horrible person, and you not understanding that you're a horrible person, doesn't make you less of a horrible person.0
You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me, and now it's all gone. And I'll never get it back in me. It's too late. Life is a series of closing doors, isn't it?0
I think that all you are is just the things that you do.Taking action0
The White House is where news goes to die. Everything's canned. These perfectly prepared statements.0
You make a lot of sacrifices. You turned down a six-figure salary at Google to start your own non-profit. People don't get Malaria in Palo Alto.Google0
The only two words I want to hear from you when I ask you to do something are 'Yes' and 'Sir'.0
Winners don't make excuses when the other side plays the game.0
Mike: 'I thought you were against emotions?'
Harvey: 'I'm against having emotions, not against using them.'
Donna: 'How I sleep is none of your concern.'
Harvey: 'Neither is the Yankees' Batting Order, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it.'
How others see you is not important. How you see yourself is everything.Self-Confidence, Popularity, Motivation0
I'm not worried about your brain. It's your heart we're talking about.0
Money is the McMansion in Sarasota, that starts falling apart after ten years. Power is the old stone building that stands for centuries.Money, Power0
Power is a lot like real-estate. It's all about location. The closer you are to the source, the higher your property value.Power0
Zoe: 'I read somewhere that JFK never lasted more than three minutes.'
Francis: 'The point being?'
Zoe: 'Time is precious. Powerful people don't have the luxury of foreplay.'
'Maybe I could come up?'
Zoe: 'You're so sweet, really. But if I was gonna fuck you, you'd know.'
You want me to say those three magic word. One of which starts with an L. Okay, I'll say it. Christina Gellegar... lick my balls.0
Francis: 'I am sorry.'
Claire: 'No, that I won't accept.'
Claire: 'Apologies. My husband doesn't apologize. Even to me.'
The nature of promises is that they remain immune to changing circumstances.Trust0
There are two kinds of pain: The sort of pain that makes you strong, or useless pain, the sort of pain that's only suffering. I have no patience for useless things.Pain0
America ist the country that gave you Star Wars, you're welcome. And scientology, we're sorry about that. Sometimes what's great and terrible about us is just impossible to seperate.America0
His approach is 'America first!' Foreign affairs is like sex. If you loudly announce that you will always come first, you're going to have trouble finding partners.Donald Trump0
The bullet of an M16 shoots out at 2100 miles per hour. Faster than the speed of sound. So if they shot you in the heart, you won't even hear the bullet that killed you.Gun-Control0
A woman can spend two days choosing shoes for a wedding. But wouldn't spend a minute arguing over masks for a robbery.0
There you have the twins Helsinki and Oslo. Even with the most bullet-proof plan, soldiers are necessary. What better than two Serbs? It's possible that they can think, but thankfully - we'll never know.0
And that's how I met The Professor, by pointing a gun at his balls. The good thing about relationships is that we end up forgetting how they started.0
I'd get 30 years. And to be honest, growing old in a prison cell ist not my thing. I rather ran, in body and soul. And if I can't take my body with me, at least my soul should run.0
George: 'She calls me up at my office. She says, 'We have to talk.''
Jerry: 'Ugh. The four worst words in the English language.'
George: 'That or 'Whose bra is this?''
Jerry: 'That’s worse.'
Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.0
Why is nice bad? What kind of a sick society are we living in when nice is bad?0
I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off.0
Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.Money0
George: 'Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?'
Jerry: 'Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind.'
Mr. Peterman: 'Elaine, can you keep a secret?'
Elaine: 'No sir, I can't.'
George: 'You’re gonna over-dry your laundry.'
Jerry: 'You can’t over-dry.'
George: 'Why not?'
Jerry: 'Same reason you can’t over-wet.'
George: 'You’ve got to apologize.'
George: 'Because it’s the mature and adult thing to do.'
Jerry: 'How does that affect me?'
That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.Christmas0
I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That’s why I’m not a heterosexual.'0
Peter: 'Well, I got the results of your ultrasound and I got some news for ya.'
Pregnant Woman: 'Wait, wait, wait, we don't wanna if it's a boy or a girl.'
Peter: 'Oh, okay. Well, IT's not breathing.'
It's not a crime to love what you cannot explain.0
We all bear scars, mine just happen to be more visible than most.Scars0
The worst day of loving someone, is the day that you lose them.0
True love will triumph in the end - which may or may not be a lie, but if it is a lie, then it's the most beautiful lie we have...0
There is no such thing as bad ideas. Just poorly executed awesome ideas.Ideas, Motivation0
Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be.Breakup & Lovesick0