Hello, Bill Gates? Turns out I’m the richest guy in the world, because I have an adoring wife and a loving family.
Hello, UNICEF? Yes, I’d like to donate some of my immense riches. What’s that? Children are still starving in Africa because wife love is worthless to you? What an odd policy!
Ah, saturday afternoon TV. Where the sneaky networks hide all the good shows.Stan Smith in American Dad!
In a hundred years, when there’s a million jerks riding around Manhattan drunk in limos, the west will seem like a paradise.Roger the Alien in American Dad!, Season 12 Episode 22
The new Pixar movie, Clothes. It’s about the secret lives of clothes. John Ratzenberger plays a tie.Stan Smith in American Dad!
No one sees the perfect con coming, especially inside their own home.Nick Franzelli in No Good Nick, Season 1 Episode 1
How do we prevent making mistakes where we actually only want to help?Barry Allen in The Flash, Season 3 Episode 3
Every relationship teaches us hard lessons, right? That's their gift. To make us ready for the day when someone, maybe the One, walks in, who could truly love us.RelationshipsJoe Goldberg in You, Season 1 Episode 10
Sometimes, we do bad things for the people we love. Doesn't mean it's right, it means love is more important.Joe Goldberg in You, Season 1 Episode 10
From every boy masquerading as a man that you let into your body, your heart, you learned you didn't have whatever magic turns a beast into a prince.Guinevere Beck in You, Season 1 Episode 10
I'd never felt this way before, where you love the bad things about someone as much as the good. Maybe even a little more.Joe Goldberg in You, Season 1 Episode 7
Zach: 'I'm test-driving veganism now and I'm just feeling a little faint. You two are absolutely adorable, and I am a lonely, vegan island.'
Joe: 'Someone needs a burger.'
Beck: 'Or somewhere to put his meat.'
Ned: 'How about your brother? How's he doing?'
Beck: 'You know. Works a lot. Anya, too. But they seem happy. [According to Facebook.]'
Relationships are scary. You don't get all that goodness and possibilities with zero risk.RelationshipsLove Quinn in You, Season 2 Episode 2
One day, you won't need love anymore
One day, you won't walk through the world
As though it was your job to hold everything up
The sun, the sky, the hard part of the night
There are scary people in the world, Beck. That's why it's important to be safe.Joe Goldberg in You, Season 1 Episode 1
The most valuable things in life are usually the most helpless.Joe Goldberg in You, Season 1 Episode 1
Every account set to public. You want to be seen, heard, known. Of course, I obliged. The next thing our little friend the internet gave me, was your address.Joe Goldberg in You, Season 1 Episode 1
If this was a movie, I'd grab you and we'd go at it right in the stacks.Joe Goldberg in You, Season 1 Episode 1
That's sad. People buying books because of what's popular and not because they wanna be moved or changed in some way.Guinevere Beck in You, Season 1 Episode 1
Moo Point. It's like a cow's opinion, it just doesn't matter.Joey Tribbiani in Friends, Season 7 Episode 8
Jaskier: 'Actually, I've always wanted to know, do witchers ever retire?'
Geralt: 'Yeah, when they slow and get killed.'
I will not suffer tonight sober just because you hid your sausage in the wrong royal pantry.Geralt of Rivia in The Witcher, Season 1 Episode 4
Geralt: 'I'm not your friend.'
Jaskier: 'Really? Oh, you usually just let strangers rub chamomile onto your lovely bottom?'
Mando: 'I was not born on Mandalore.'
Greef Karga: 'But you're Mandalorian?'
Cara Dune: 'Mandalorian isn't a race.'
Mando: 'It's a Creed.'
Chaos is the most dangerous thing in this world. It is all around us all the time. Volatile and powerful. Magic is organizing chaos.MagicTissaia de Vries in The Witcher, Season 1 Episode 2
Droids are not good or bad. They are neutral reflections of those who imprint them.ComputerKuiil in The Mandalorian, Season 1 Episode 7
Ran: 'Mayfeld, he's one of the best triggermen I've ever seen. Former Imperial sharpshooter.'
Mando: 'That's not saying much.'
Ran: 'We were all young, tryin' to make a name for ourselves. But runnin' with a Mandalorian, that brought us some reputation.'
Mayfeld: 'Oh, yeah? What did he get out of it?'
Ran: 'I asked him that one time. You remember what you said, Mando? Target Practice.'
Morty: "Mom told me she wanted me to stay here to make sure you didn't die."
Jerry: "Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine."
Rick: "Don't train your child to lie, Jerry."
Morty: "I'm dying, Rick!"
Rick: "People who are really dying don't keep bringing it up."
Morty: "Is that true?"
Rick: "I don't know. I'm just usually around people that die faster."
Renfri: 'People call you a monster too. Why not kill them?'
Geralt: ''Cause then I am what they say.'
Woman: 'This place isn't safe if you’re alone.'
Ciri: 'Then it's the same as every other place.'
Lesson number two: Know when it's time to stop moving.Calanthe of Cintra in The Witcher, Season 1 Episode 1
Here's your first lesson: As in life, it is impossible always to be fully prepared for battle. Keep your sword close and keep moving.Calanthe of Cintra in The Witcher
Jaskier: 'You smell of death and destiny, heroics and heartbreak.'
Geralt: 'It's onion.'
Morty: 'Why don't you admit you don't want anyone else to be happy because you're a sad old fart?'
Rick: 'How do you saddle a fart?'
Dragon: "My name is Balthromaw. Breaker of skies, slayer of mountain."
Rick: "Rule 1: You're now scooper of your own poops, or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are."
You know who's into dragons, Morty? Nerds who refuse to admit they're Christian.DragonsRick Sanchez in Rick and Morty, Season 4 Episode 4
You want to be a bounty hunter? Make the best deal for yourself and survive!Fennec Shand in The Mandalorian, Season 1 Episode 5
Do you know what love is, Scott? I'll tell you one thing, it's not the happy ending that Disney movies promised us. There's no 'happily ever after'. There's just work and anger and pain and more work, and then, every once in a while, a little bit of fun.Eric Cartman in South Park, Season 23 Episode 9
It’s Paradise, but we can’t get out of it. And anything you can’t get out of is Hell.Margaret Atwood in Watchmen, Season 1 Episode 8