The best Series Quotes (Page 39)

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The best Series Quotes
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 10

That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, Armani-clad and fully awesome.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 10

Barney: 'He's the awesomest, most best-lookingest, greatest guy ever!'
Lily: 'He's exactly like Barney.'
Barney: 'That's what I just said.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 10

Oh man, I am so excited that you're here! It has been forever since I have been around anyone even remotely fun!
[to Lily, Robin, Ted and Marshall] Huh... yes, offense!

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 1

Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mother.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 20

I didn't give up on my dream house, because that's the thing about stupid decisions - we all make them, but time is funny and sometimes a little magical. It can take a stupid decision, and turn it into something else entirely.

Decisions, Time
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Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 3 Episode 22

That 'Uhm...' is the battle cry of the chronic masturbator.

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Quote by Sandy Cohen from The O.C. in Season 2 Episode 3

Sandy: 'You're not exactly the ideal client.'
Caleb: 'Rich? Powerful?'
Sandy: 'Guilty!'

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Quote by Seth Cohen from The O.C. in Season 2 Episode 4

Her with a tattoo, you with a wristband. That's like the ultimate wrong-side-of-the-tracks love story. Seriously, you are the Sid to her Nancy, the Kurt to her Courtney. The 50 Cent to... Mrs. Cent.

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Quote by Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 12

Howard: 'We need a hot fifteen-year-old asian girl with a thing for smart guys.'
Penny: 'What?'
Leonard: 'Howard, that's racist! Any fifteen-year-old girl will do the trick.'
Rajesh: 'It's possible she may have missunderstood us.'

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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 12

Engineering - where the semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello Oompa-Loompas of science!

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Quote by Leslie Winkle from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 5

Penny: 'Wow, a girl scientist.'
Leslie: 'Yep, come for the breast, stay for the brains.'

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Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 2 Episode 8

She knows what she's talking about, Alan. Mom's been on more hotel pillows than a chocolate mint.

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Quote by J.D. from Scrubs in Season 3 Episode 19

There comes a time when every man needs to make a choice, whether it's a professional choice or whether it's a personal choice. In the end, it's about integrity, and it's about chasing after what you really want, even if that means showing you both care a little. And sometimes... well, sometimes you just have to do what's right for your friend, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.

Decisions
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Quote by Bob Kelso from Scrubs in Season 2 Episode 19

Well, that, and a little medical boondoggle I have to go to in Cleveland. And by medical boondoggle I mean golf-weekend. And by Cleveland I mean Hawaii. Anyway, I have to go catch my bus to the airport. And by bus I mean helicopter.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 16

Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.

College, Long-Distance Relationships
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 16

Don't knock long-distance relationships, I really think they can work. I'm juggling four right now. There's Lisa in Madrid, there's Erica in Tokyo, there's Laura in Denmark. And Kelly on 34th street. The last thinks I'm a humble sheep-shearer from Kelani.

Long-Distance Relationships
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Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 11

Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs... It's like we're the president.

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Quote by Penny from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 13

So in your world... your like the 'cool guys'.

Nerds
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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 13

You're asking me to use my superior intellect in a tawdry competition. Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?

Intelligence
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Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 5

Penny: 'Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello.'
Leonard: 'Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.'

Nerds
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Quote by Berta from Two and a half Men in Season 3 Episode 4

It's a shame, you paying all that money for an ex-wife and an ex-wife's house, and you're not allowed inside either one.

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Quote by Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy in Season 6 Episode 9

Sometimes the past is something you just can't let go of. And sometimes the past is something we'll do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present.

Past
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Quote by Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy in Season 3 Episode 21

Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. And as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.

Desire
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Quote by Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy in Season 2 Episode 14

But here's the truth about the truth: It hurts. So we lie.

Lies, Truth
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Quote by Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy in Season 5 Episode 10

We enter the world alone and we leave it alone. And everything that happens in between, we owe it to our self to find a little company. We need help. We need support. Otherwise we're in it by our self. Strangers, cut off from each other and we forget just how connect we all are. So instead we choose love. We choose life and for a moment we feel just a little bit less alone.

Solitude & Being Alone
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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 2

Leonard: 'Well, do you have any ideas?'
Sheldon: 'Yeah, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a power ring.'

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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 4

I've spent the past three-and-a-half years staring at greaseboards full of equations; before that, I spent four years working on my thesis; before that, I was in college, and before that... I was in the fifth grade.

College
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Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 2 Episode 3

Well, I want it on the record that if the kid was running a blackjack game under the bleachers, he didn't necessarily get the idea from me.

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Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 1 Episode 1

Charlie: 'How did you get in my house?'
Alan: 'Okay, Charlie, the key in the fake rock only works if it's among other rocks, not sitting on your welcome mat!'
Charlie: 'Excuse me, but if you put the fake rock in with a bunch of other rocks, it's impossible to find when you're drunk.'

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Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 6 Episode 3

Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain-cells.

Alcohol
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Quote by Leslie Winkle from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 3

Leonard: 'Anyway, I was thinking more of a bio-social exploration with a neuro-chemical overlay.'
Leslie: 'Wait, are you asking me out?'

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Quote by Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 3

Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms - or hits you with the pepper spray.

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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 3

Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted, smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so you don't crash into Geek Mountain again.

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Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 3

Leonard: 'Sorry 'bout your car, by the way.'
Penny: 'Oh no, it's fine. You got most of it out the window.'
Leonard: 'The poor guy on the bike.'

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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 2

If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.

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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 2

Leonard: 'For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?'
Sheldon: 'You have a sarcasm sign?'

Sarcasm
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Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 2

Sheldon: 'You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of having sexual congress with this woman?'
Leonard: 'Men do things for women without expecting sex.'
Sheldon: 'Those would be men who just had sex.'

Sex
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Quote by J.D. from Scrubs in Season 6 Episode 11

The truth is, it's all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.

Memories
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Quote by J.D. from Scrubs in Season 1 Episode 23

Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice. You can either wallow in self-pity, or you can suck it up. It's your call.

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Quote by Perry Cox from Scrubs in Season 1 Episode 15

Couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.

Relationships
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Quote by J.D. from Scrubs in Season 2 Episode 12

Because even if it breaks your heart to be 'just friends'... if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.

Friendship, Breakup & Lovesick
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Quote by J.D. from Scrubs in Season 4 Episode 8

Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.

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Quote by Seth Cohen from The O.C. in Season 1 Episode 19

Summer: 'I'm busy. Studying. Naked.'
Seth: 'Is that supposed to keep me away?'
Summer: 'Cohen? You're at my house!'
Seth: 'And you're dressed. I wonder who's more disappointed.'

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Quote by Ryan Atwood from The O.C. in Season 1 Episode 2

You know what I like about rich kids? Nothing!

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Quote by Ryan Atwood from The O.C. in Season 1 Episode 12

Ryan: 'Maybe you've got the Summer flu.'
Seth: 'I dunno. It's possible.'
Ryan: 'Maybe you need some Annabiotics.'

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Quote by Seth Cohen from The O.C. in Season 1 Episode 7

Comicon is basically a bunch of pathetic virgins ogling some porn star dressed as Catwoman.

Nerds
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Quote by Seth Cohen from The O.C. in Season 1 Episode 5

It turns out that I'm quite skilled at getting a date, provided it's not for me.

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Quote by Seth Cohen from The O.C. in Season 1 Episode 2

Sandy: 'The minute you were born, I knew that I would never take another easy breath again without knowing that you were safe.'
Seth: 'So, I'm like asthma?'

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Quote by Ryan Atwood from The O.C. in Season 1 Episode 1

Modern medicine is advancing to the point where the average human life span will be a hundred. But I read this article which said Social Security is supposed to run out by the year 2025, which means people are gonna have to stay in their jobs until they're 80. So I don't wanna commit to anything too soon.

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Quote by Christopher Turk from Scrubs in Season 2 Episode 14

I'm not really proud of this, but I can pick your puff'n'stuff out of a lineup.

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