The best Series Quotes (Page 37)

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The best Series Quotes
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 6

Every Halloween I bring a spare costume. In case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way I have a second chance to make a first impression.

Halloween
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 3

Airport bar! Flight attendants, they'll get your tray table in it's full upright position. Say what?

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Quote by C-Note from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 11

Are you telling me that there's a hole in Fox River that you don't want to get into?

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 17

I mean she just walked out. At least when I walk out on a girl I have the common courtesy to sleep with her first. It's called manners!

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 11

The Captain: 'Guess it's just you, me, and six hours in frigid international waters.'
Ted: 'Or we could stay in dry land, hang out with some witnesses?'

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 23

Barney: 'Her butt?'
Marshall: 'What is it, too much?'
Lily: 'Too low?'
Robin: 'Or ist it an issue of access?'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 20

Woman: 'How can you not remember my name? it rhymes with your name?'
Barney: 'And I said my name was...?'

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 15

Ted: 'That beer looks a little flat.'
Robin: 'Yeah.. it's scotch.'

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Quote by Theodore Bagwell from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 18

A Full House! That concept the Mexicans should be quite familiar with, right?

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Quote by C-Note from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 10

Concrete is my specialty... can you dig it?

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 19

Here's the thing about me and tools: The only one I know how to use, is attached to me. And I'm not gonna try putting it in a TV... again.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 3

Anything sounds weird, if you say it a undred times. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl...

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Quote by Ben Parr from Mad Love

That's the thing no one tells you about a new relationship. You think you're just dating one person, but the truth is: you're dating everyone that person knows - and you better hope they like you!

Relationships
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 18

I am not 'with' Nora. Wrong Preposition! Later tonight I'm hoping to be 'on' Nora, right? Or 'under' Nora. Am I right? Or, we're all adults, so I'll just say it: 'behind' Nora.

Sex
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 17

If I got serious with Nora, it would be like if Mother Teresa focused all her attention on one really hot orphan. With great penis comes great responsibility.

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Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 17

Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.

Sex
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 17

She had a nice face, her booty was in place, but Barney don't chase.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 16

Player play on - high V!

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Quote by Nora from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 16

There is one difference between you and me: I'm not saying any of this to get in your pants.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 16

February 13th. A magical night, where a ten has the self esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a two.

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 16

So that's it? A couple of white Urkels offer you sausages and you're gone?

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 16

Desperation Day has come and gone and you have neither gone nor come.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 15

I'd say hump her brain out, but somebody obviously already has.

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Quote by C-Note from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 11

You know, your parents must be so proud of you, man. I mean, hitting the trailer-park trifecta: racist, pedophile, and stupid.

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Quote by John Abruzzi from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 19

Does not a warm hand feel better than a cold shank?

Peace
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Quote by Fernando Sucre from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 9

Sneaky son of a bitch!
You think he found the hole?

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Quote by Theodore Bagwell from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 9

Boy's a bit confused about his pigmentation.

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Quote by C-Note from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 10

Darwin wins inside these walls. Not Einstein. Darwin.

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Quote by John Abruzzi from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 7

I'll be very clear here, because you and I face an evolutionary gap.

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Quote by Fernando Sucre from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 1

Welcome to Prisneyland, Fish.

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Quote by John Abruzzi from Prison Break in Season 1 Episode 1

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.

Friendship, Enemies
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 3

I like my testicles attached to my body, rather than rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 6

There are so many great things to do with the human mouth, why waste it on talking?

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 7

You know what they say about relationships. Every waking moment's a battle.

Relationships
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 8

Since I stopped dating Robin, there's this thing I haven't used as much as I would like. It's kind of big. Surprisingly heavy. Kind of leathery. And it's black.
This, my friends, is the playbook!

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 14

Ted: 'You're like Mary Poppins, if her magic purse was also filled with drugs.'
Robin: 'If? Ted, the kids in that movie jumped into a painting and spent 15 minutes chasing a cartoon fox. Spoonful of sugar? Grow Up!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 1

Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying: 'Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it's your job to make him awesome.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother

One of the 24 similarities between women and fish are they're both attracted to shiny objects.

Women
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 21

I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I don't speak 'I-never-get-laid'.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 9

There is a 83% correlation between times when men are wearing a boutonniere and when they are getting laid... proms, weddings, funerals... thanks for the redhead, grandma! By the way, did you know that 'boutonniere' is french for 'booty is near'?

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 4

She really had a fat but: her fat butt!

Puns
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Quote by Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 4

Sheldon: 'Hey, look, I found my missing neutrino.'
Howard: 'Oh good, we can take it off the milk carton...'

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Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 6 Episode 3

You know what the problem is? The women, the drinking... you guys look at me and you think it's easy.

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Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 4 Episode 22

Ah, cars. Where would we be without cars? And how would we get there?

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 11

Breast-feeding... hot!
When those things swell up to three times their normal size, so do I.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 11

You lie to your husband all the time...
'That shirt looks great on you.',
'I love your mom.',
'I never fantasize about Barney when we're doing it.'
Sound familiar, Pinocchio?

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 11

Lily: 'Anytime a single guy hangs out with a married woman there are rules that must be followed: Rule number one...'
Barney: 'Don't use the husband's condoms, that's just rude!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 12

Lily: 'I'm pregnant.'
Barney: 'I've never seen that woman before in my life! Sorry - force of habit, congratulations!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 12

I am Mr. Charity. I frequently sleep with sixes, chubsters, over thirty's. I am the Bill and Melinda Gates of the sympathy bang.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 6

Kids, you may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward.

Breakup & Lovesick, Comforting
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