The best Series Quotes (Page 2)

I'm grateful to have the chance to say goodbye. I am proud of you all... my X-Men.

Professor X in X-Men '97 - Season 1

What are days for? Days are where we live. They come, they wake us. Time and time over. They are to be happy in. Where can we live but days?

One Day - Season 1 Episode 1

Days

Dick: "We're just as tough as any other gang in here."
Karen: "Here's your peppermint tea, Dick. I put a splash of honey in it, I know you got a scratchy throat."

The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin - Season 1

I'm new school, and there's gonna be less violence on my watch. Is there anything that I could've done to improve your highway robbery experience?

Dick Turpin in The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin - Season 1

Quick note to my gang. If you were planning a rescue, now would be a good time.

Dick Turpin in The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin - Season 1

"One day, I'll be the most famous highwayman in all of England!"
"You are literally about to be hanged, you idiot!"

The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin - Season 1

I want this Dick in my hands as soon as possible.

The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin - Season 1

Griselda: "I heard that you liked my product."
Eddie 'The Bird' Rancon: "Beautiful. Was like shoving a f*cking coca plant up my nose."
Griselda: "Give the size of that thing I bet you have the whole f*cking brick up there."

Griselda Blanco in Griselda - Season 1 Episode 1

Funny Insults Cocaine

Can't you wait till we get inside? Your brother always serves it like an appetizer.

Griselda Blanco in Griselda - Season 1 Episode 1

Look, listen, you need to understand that my business runs on volume, all right? So what am I going to do with one kilo?

Amilcar in Griselda - Season 1 Episode 1

I've seen your type. Nice clothes, walk a little too fast, talk a little too much. You need the work. I respect that.

Griselda Blanco in Griselda - Season 1 Episode 1

Lord Melchett: "Ah, Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see."
Blackadder: "Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Sassy Quotes

Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth, I would be trying to start a family with Baldrick.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Dump-Quotes

They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Threats

Baldrick, I want you to take this and go out and buy a turkey so large, you'd think its mother had been rogered by an omnibus.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Turkeys

Baldrick, believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me - and THIS pencil.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Insults Brain

There hasn't been a war run this badly since Olaf the hairy, King of all the Vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Vikings & Northmen

He's madder than Mad Jack McMad, the winner of last year's Mr Madman competition.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Your brain is so minute Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Insults

Pitt the Younger: "I intend to put my own brother up as a candidate against you."
Blackadder: "And which Pitt would this be? Pitt the Toddler? Pitt the Embryo? Pitt the Glint in the Milkman's Eye?"

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Lord Flashheart: "Enter the man who has no underwear. Ask me why."
Others: "Why do you have no underwear, Lord Flash?"
Lord Flashheart: "Because the pants haven't been built yet that'll take the job on."

Lord Flashheart in Blackadder

Baldrick: "I have a plan, sir."
Blackadder: "Really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?"
Baldrick: "Yes, sir."
Blackadder: "As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?"

Blackadder

The suspect has his head placed upon a block, and an axe aimed at his neck. If the man is guilty, the axe will bounce off his neck. If the man is not guilty, the axe will simply slice his head off.

Blackadder

Baldrick: "I love my mum."
Blackadder: "And I love chops in sauce but I don't seek their advice."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Sassy Quotes

Oh, Edmund. I do love it when you get cross. Sometimes I think about having you executed, just to see the expression on your face.

Queenie in Blackadder

Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches closer to Berlin.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Samuel Johnson: "This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language."
Blackadder: "Every single one, sir?"
Samuel Johnson: "Every single word, sir."
Blackadder: "Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafibularities."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Baldrick, you wouldn't recognise a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing "subtle plans are here again".

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Baldrick, your head is as empty as a eunach's underpants.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Insults

Mrs Miggins: "Don't mind them Mr B, they're just being intellectual."
Blackadder: "There's nothing intellectual about wandering around Italy in a big shirt trying to get laid."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Italy

Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?!

Lord Flashheart in Blackadder

Prince George: "Someone said I had the wit and intellect of a donkey."
Blackadder: "Oh, an absurd suggestion sir. Unless it was a particularly stupid donkey."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Funny Insults Donkeys

Blackadder: "Criminal record?"
Baldrick: "Absolutely not."
Blackadder: "Oh, come on, Baldrick. You're going to be an MP for God's sake. I'll just put fraud and sexual deviance."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Percy, far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm, you would bore the leggings off a village idiot.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own satanic herd.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Lord Blackadder: "Ah, Melchett! Greetings! I trust Christmas brings you its traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp."
Lord Melchett: "And compliments of the season to you, Blackadder. May the Yuletide log slip from your fire and burn your house down."

Blackadder

Christmas

Mr. Pants: "You've really worked out your banter, haven't you?"
Blackadder: "No, this is a different thing. It's spontaneous and it's called wit."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Old woman: "The Wise Woman? There are two things you must know about the Wise Woman! First... she is a woman! And second...-"
Blackadder: "She is wise?"
Old woman: "Oh, you do know her then."
Blackadder: "No, just a quick stab in the dark - which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being more helpful."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

We're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.

Queenie in Blackadder

She's got a tongue like an electric eel, and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.

Lord Flashheart in Blackadder

Connie: "Does he even know you like him?"
Missy: "I don't know. I've ignored him, been mean to him. What else can I do?"

Missy Cooper in Young Sheldon - Season 6 Episode 4

You think you can just buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?! Well, you can!

Husk in Hazbin Hotel - Season 1 Episode 1

Angel Dust: "'I'm a bad man who never got enough hugs. Where's an innocent kid I can sell crack to?' Who wrote this?"
Charlie Morningstar: "It's great, right? Keep going!"

Charlie Morningstar in Hazbin Hotel - Season 1

For the first time in our lives
We know that we are ready for this
We'll show heaven in a fight they won't forget
It's time to take a stand
It's time to lend a hand
Against the angels and their deadly threat
We cannot take it anymore
The time has come to go to war
Prepare to fight, we're ready for...

Hazbin Hotel - Season 1

This place is about second chances. To convince Heaven the people of Hell can be redeemed.

Charlie Morningstar in Hazbin Hotel - Season 1

Well, hello there, you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do! That's why you're in Hell. What would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here.

Alastor in Hazbin Hotel - Season 1 Episode 1

Husk: "Why do you think I'm here? You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you f*cks b*tch and moan all the time if he wasn't forcing me?"
Niffty: "I like being forced."
Husk: "Keep that to yourself, Niff."

Husk in Hazbin Hotel - Season 1 Episode 1