I’ve known good criminals and bad cops. Bad priests, honorable thieves. You can be on one side of the law or the other. But if you make a deal with somebody, you keep your word. You can go home today with your money and never do this again. But you took something that wasn’t yours. And you sold it for a profit. You’re now a criminal. Good one, bad one? That’s up to you.Morality, Crime0
Chemistry is the study of matter, but I prefer to see it as the study of change.Chemistry0
So you’re chasing around a fly and in your world I’m the idiot?0
It's nothing personal Walt, but you wouldn’t know a criminal if he was close enough to check you for a hernia.0
The next time you bring a gun to a job without telling me, I will stick it up your ass sideways.0
Perhaps we should learn to temper our expectations.0
I've been dreaming of that since I was five. Well, that and my own operational Death Star.0
Oh, floor, you're always there for me. So supportive. Not like walls and staircases, always getting in my way.0
Luci: 'I can't believe he called you a worthless, bucktoothed degenerate.'
Bean: 'He didn't say that.'
Luci: 'Doesn't make it any less true.'
Joey: 'I'm having new headshows taken tomorrow,right? And the photographer said that she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?'
Phoebe: 'Well, it depends.'
Phoebe: 'On how far along he is in the sex change process.'
Maybe reality is the dream and dreams are reality. You ever think about that?0
It's a lemon, guys. It's what we feed children in hell.0
Some might say her cries for help were a cry for help, but I think she was just being an attention hog.0
Lady Lingonberry: 'I'm drowning!'
Elfo: 'I'm Elfo!'
I am on a curiosity voyage and I need my paddles to travel. These books - these books are my paddles. I need my paddles.0
You shouldn't like things because people tell you you're supposed to.0
All living things, from complex mammals to single-celled organisms, instinctively respond to danger. Expose a bacterium to a toxic chemical and it will flee, or deploy some other defense mechanism. We're very much the same. When we encounter danger, our hearts start pounding. Our palms start to sweat. These are the signs of the physical and emotional state we call 'fear.'Fear0
That's it. Three rules. I call 'em the 'Don't be stupid'-rules. 'Cause we're not stupid, alright?0
Science is neat, but I’m afraid it’s not very forgiving.Science0
Don’t take it so personally, okay? I don’t like most people. He’s in the vast majority.0
Monica: 'Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.'
Ross: 'A 'no sex'-pact, huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America.'
Bean: 'I'm gonna have to kill him or something.'
Luci: 'Do it! Do it! Do it! And after you kill him we can hide the body. Then we could join the search party and you and I can look at each other and try not to laugh.'
Your cruddy life is worth living, Bean. And so is mine... if you live.0
Chandler: 'Oh my God, those are my bedroom eyes? Why did you ever sleep with me?'
Monica: 'Do you really want to pull at that thread?'
Chandler: 'Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break?'
Ross: 'What's the difference?'
Monica: 'Well, a spring vacation you're doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break you're doing frat guys.'
Destiny is baloney. Your future is not foretold. It's what you make of it.0
Bean: 'What's this weird feeling I don't want to drink away?'
Elfo: 'That's hope. That's hope!'
Luci: 'You know what we say in hell? 'Hope's for dopes.''
Bean: 'You two sleep down at my feet. I call it the friend zone.'
Luci: 'Get comfortable. You ain't never getting outta here.'
Hey, he's making fun of my dreams. That's what friends do.0
I'd rather die a big death than live a small life.Life0
I wanna taste something other than sweetness. I wanna cry salty tears, learn bitter truths. I wanna take a big, meaty bite out of life and dip it in mustard.0
All this wedding hassle for a stupid political alliance? I thought that I'd get married for true love, or because I was wasted.0
'How long does ist take for you to pick a Yale three-pin?'
'Well, then in eight minutes, you're gonna make four grand. Ten minutes if you decide to pick your nose.'
Trade. The basic system of barter exchange that you have to do really carefully or you'll end up with Dwight Howard.0
I got us Thai iced teas, unless you want me to pour you something less non-alcoholic.0
Ross: 'I could ask her to live with me. I mean, why not?'
Chandler: 'Because you've only known her for six weeks. I've got a carton of milk in my refrigerator I've had a longer relationship with.'
Ross: 'She's got to go back to London. But, you know what? I've been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together and then that's it.'
Joey: 'That's what all my relationships are like.'
Chandler: 'Yes, but in Ross' case, they both know in two weeks that's it.'
Alice Knight: 'We were just at the drugstore, so we got you a little present.'
Frank Buffay: 'It's a lollipop and a home pregnancy test.'
Monica: 'Don't mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop.'
Love lasts forever, you know? Nothing like it in this lifetime. Money in the bank.Love0
Joey: 'Can you close that window, Chandler? My nipples could cut glass over here.'
Phoebe: 'Wait, really? 'Cause mine get me out of tickets.'
Joey: 'You're smoking again?'
Chandler: 'Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm smoking still.'
Joey: 'I had the same dream.'
Phoebe: 'Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl.'
Joey: 'Oh, I had the opposite dream.'
Phoebe: 'For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.'
Chandler: 'I don't think you can make that statement, unless you've been kicked in the area, God only meant to be treated nicely.'
Joey: 'It's never taken me more than a week to get over a relationship.'
Monica: 'It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.'
Nice try. You see, the Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.0
[..] to an infamous story about a pubic hair in a coke can. Which is the most disgusting thing you could possibly discover in a coke can - other than Pepsi.Cola0
Danger's my middle name. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture.0
Time to count our Christmas cards. One... now, let's read it!0