The best Series Quotes (Page 2)

You can't lose your virginity to a tampon. It has to be a penis with a man attached.

If god didn't want us putting things up our ass, he would have given the rectum a gag reflex.

Every time we open our hearts, every time we open our gates, we take a risk.

Sometimes when people love each other very much, they need time apart, so when they come back together, their love is even stronger.

I just thought squirting was a myth, like unicorns or moderate Republicans.

Bullying is a vital part of every ecosystem. It teaches kids resilience. The world is a rough place. Bullying is like getting inoculated. It's a vaccine.

Every time we open our hearts, every time we open our gates, we take a risk.

Doing things you don't want to do is how you make a relationship work.

Everyone sounds like Meryl Streep with a gun to their head.

Well yeah, and I'm sad. But at the same time, I'm really happy that something can make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive. You know? It makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now, is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautfiul sadness.

In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.

When someone points a gun at you, you don't turn around and run away. You take it out of their hand and you point it right back.

We are captives of our own identities, living in prisons of our own creation.

You know what I want, to not have to be the older brother for my older brother.

I’m not asking you to love me. I already screwed up that chance a long time ago. I’m asking you to love yourself. You can still put the brakes on this thing.

The problem with always wanting more is that the second you get it, it can always be taken away.

Calling Facebook a toilet is a little unfair to toilets. Because they make shit go away, whereas Facebook retains shit.

Our main story tonight concerns Facebook, the worst place to wish Happy Birthday to a friend, other than a funeral.

Queen Dagmar: 'Sounds to me like he deserves a marvelous funeral.'
King Zøg: 'Great idea. I'll get someone to fish him out of the corpse pit.'

Maybe that's why I've had such low elf-esteem.

Bean: 'I just realized something. You're the reason I have a drinking problem.'
Zøg: 'Of course I am. I'm your father.'

Lying to me in any other way than flattery is a mortal crime.

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Here's the secret, kids: none of us can vow to be perfect. In the end, all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we've got. Because love's the best thing we do.

Love doesn't make sense. I mean, you can't logic your way into or out of it. Love ist totally nonsensical, but we have to keep doing it or else we're lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.

The less talk, the better.

I’ve known good criminals and bad cops. Bad priests, honorable thieves. You can be on one side of the law or the other. But if you make a deal with somebody, you keep your word. You can go home today with your money and never do this again. But you took something that wasn’t yours. And you sold it for a profit. You’re now a criminal. Good one, bad one? That’s up to you.

Chemistry is the study of matter, but I prefer to see it as the study of change.

So you’re chasing around a fly and in your world I’m the idiot?

It's nothing personal Walt, but you wouldn’t know a criminal if he was close enough to check you for a hernia.

The next time you bring a gun to a job without telling me, I will stick it up your ass sideways.

Perhaps we should learn to temper our expectations.

I've been dreaming of that since I was five. Well, that and my own operational Death Star.

Oh, floor, you're always there for me. So supportive. Not like walls and staircases, always getting in my way.

Luci: 'I can't believe he called you a worthless, bucktoothed degenerate.'
Bean: 'He didn't say that.'
Luci: 'Doesn't make it any less true.'

Joey: 'I'm having new headshows taken tomorrow,right? And the photographer said that she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?'
Phoebe: 'Well, it depends.'
Joey: 'On?'
Phoebe: 'On how far along he is in the sex change process.'

Maybe reality is the dream and dreams are reality. You ever think about that?

It's a lemon, guys. It's what we feed children in hell.

Some might say her cries for help were a cry for help, but I think she was just being an attention hog.

Lady Lingonberry: 'I'm drowning!'
Elfo: 'I'm Elfo!'

I am on a curiosity voyage and I need my paddles to travel. These books - these books are my paddles. I need my paddles.

You shouldn't like things because people tell you you're supposed to.

All living things, from complex mammals to single-celled organisms, instinctively respond to danger. Expose a bacterium to a toxic chemical and it will flee, or deploy some other defense mechanism. We're very much the same. When we encounter danger, our hearts start pounding. Our palms start to sweat. These are the signs of the physical and emotional state we call 'fear.'

That's it. Three rules. I call 'em the 'Don't be stupid'-rules. 'Cause we're not stupid, alright?

Science is neat, but I’m afraid it’s not very forgiving.

Don’t take it so personally, okay? I don’t like most people. He’s in the vast majority.

Monica: 'Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.'
Ross: 'A 'no sex'-pact, huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America.'

Bean: 'I'm gonna have to kill him or something.'
Luci: 'Do it! Do it! Do it! And after you kill him we can hide the body. Then we could join the search party and you and I can look at each other and try not to laugh.'

Your cruddy life is worth living, Bean. And so is mine... if you live.

Chandler: 'Oh my God, those are my bedroom eyes? Why did you ever sleep with me?'
Monica: 'Do you really want to pull at that thread?'