Quotes and Sayings about Turkeys

Baldrick, I want you to take this and go out and buy a turkey so large, you'd think its mother had been rogered by an omnibus.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

We celebrate a holiday that praises our success at genocide. It's a white celebration of colonization. That's not sadistic enough. We package it up with the image of a happy, smiling turkey. The emblem of the holiday is the animal that we slaughter en masse.

Marcus Baker in Ginny & Georgia - Season 2 Episode 1

Thanksgiving

No, you dingbat. You don't just go groping away. You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.

Michelle Flaherty in American Pie

Sex

There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey.

Thanksgiving

If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed - like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese.

Ted Nugent

Animals Chicken & Roosters

The truth is the Super Bowl long ago became more than just a football game. It's part of our culture like turkey at Thanksgiving and lights at Christmas, and like those holidays beyond their meaning, a factor in our economy.

Bob Schieffer

USA Super Bowl

What do Black Friday shoppers and Thanksgiving Turkeys have in common?
Both know how it feels to be stuffed and cramped in narrow spaces.

Thanksgiving Black Friday

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Thanksgiving is almost here and as soon as people realize how much money they have to spend on holiday gifts, their wallets snap tighter than Kim Kardashian's legs after the wedding check cleared.

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 10

Kim Kardashian Thanksgiving

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Craig Ferguson

American Football Thanksgiving

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.

Oprah Winfrey

Gratitude Satisfaction Thanksgiving

Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.

Henry Ward Beecher

Gratitude Thanksgiving

Looking forward to ruining Thanksgiving this year by saying "Okay, Boomer" after the family prayer.

Thanksgiving Baby Boomers

Life is a subscription and Thanksgiving is your family's yearly charge.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 3

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving cuisine is such a delightful symphony of flavor!

Elon Musk - November 2022

Thanksgiving

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump
May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump
May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize
And may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!

Thanksgiving Poem

Thanksgiving

I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

Jon Stewart

Thanksgiving

They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting, like say, Turkeypocalypse.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.

Kevin James

Thanksgiving

The thing I'm most thankful for right now is my elastic waistband.

Thanksgiving

You can't have a good Thanksgiving meal without a little bit of ketchup on the side.

Patrick Mahomes

Thanksgiving

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

Thanksgiving

I absolutely adore Thanksgiving. It's the only holiday I insist on making myself.

Ina Garten

Thanksgiving

A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water logged stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?

Marley & Me

Animals Dogs

Who feeds a hungry animal, feeds his own soul.

Charlie Chaplin

Animals

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain

Humanity Gratitude Animals Dogs

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.

George Orwell in Animal Farm

Animals

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Josh Billings

Animals Dogs

Treat your pet in a way that you could easily exchange roles anytime.

Pascal Lachenmeier (*1973)

Animals Pets

There are no strange creatures, only blinkered people.

Newt Scamander in Fantastic Beasts - 2: The Crimes of Grindelwald

Animals

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

Kinky Friedman

Love Money Animals Dogs

If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.

James Herriot

Animals

The only honest reaction and true loyalty that we get is from our animals.

Dick Van Patten

Loyalty Animals

Animals don't judge you as long as you're really good at heart. They don't care who you are or what you've done in your past.

Joe Exotic in Tiger King - Season 1 Episode 2

Animals

I've always had a fascination for animals. I loved watching them, and even then I thought of them as beings rather than pets. I call it a birth affect!

Tippi Hedren

Animals

Max: "Fall in a ditch!"
Marcus: "Well, I already did that."

Marcus Baker in Ginny & Georgia - Season 1 Episode 10

Hölle

Lord Melchett: "Ah, Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see."
Blackadder: "Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation."

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

Sassy Quotes

Marcus: "My bike. It's gone. She took it."
Max: "So that's like Grand Theft Auto. Or Grand Theft Bike."

Maxine Baker in Ginny & Georgia - Season 2 Episode 1

I got some scotch. Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.

Jeanine Stifler / Stifler's Mom in American Pie - 1

Whiskey

If you want more sex, just ask for it.

Damon Salvatore in The Vampire Diaries

Sex Erotic Quotes

For the Nugent family, fast food is a running herbivore.

Ted Nugent

I went to a costume party dressed as a chicken and hooked up with a girl dressed as an egg.

Long story short:
The chicken.

Funny Quotes Chicken & Roosters Eggs

I think journalism is a great way to do public service, to have an impact on your community.

Bob Schieffer

Journalism

If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America. They don’t care for human beings.

Nelson Mandela

USA

We're not done, dawg, I want three!

Patrick Mahomes - February 2024, about the Chiefs' Super Bowl Win

Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl NFL Mic'd Up

Bought a new vacuum on Black Friday. It sucks!

Black Friday Cleaning

You just called Britney Spears retro, so I have to go cryogenically freeze myself.

Georgia Miller in Ginny & Georgia - Season 1 Episode 5

Britney Spears

Georgia: "I'm worried about you, Peach."
Ginny: "Is that why your wrinkles are so pronounced?"

Ginny Miller in Ginny & Georgia - Season 2 Episode 1

Ellen: "Ten minutes, or I'm taking away your phone."
Marcus: "Good. We're wasting our lives chained to these screens for our dopamine hits. Does it actually make us more fulfilled? No."
Max: "If I could have my phone surgically embedded into my hand, I would."

Maxine Baker in Ginny & Georgia - Season 2 Episode 1

Smartphones

Max: "Welcome back, b*tches!"
Ellen: "Maxine, don't call Nanna and Pappy b*tches."

Ellen Baker in Ginny & Georgia - Season 2 Episode 1

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