The best Quotes by Trey Parker

The best Quotes by Trey Parker

Randolph Severn "Trey" Parker III (born October 19, 1969) is an American actor, animator, filmmaker, and composer. He is known for co-creating South Park (since 1997) and The Book of Mormon (2011) with his creative partner Matt Stone.

You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado.
You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody.
My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?'
Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.

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I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like... it makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.
Butters Stotch in South Park - Season 7 Episode 14
Do you know what happened to the last people Germans were pissed off at? Tell him, Kyle!
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 15 Episode 2
A bl*wjob isn't with your mouth, it's with your heart. Now get on your knees and put that heart to work.
Randy Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 11
Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?
Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 11 Episode 12
Terrorist: "America had other enemies before the Muslims, you know? Who is America's oldest enemy?"
Cartman: "The Russians?"
Terrorist: "Before that!"
Cartman: "The Germans?"
Terrorist: "Before that."
Cartman: "The Germans again?"
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 11 Episode 4
What's the matter, you got some sand in your v-gina?
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 5 Episode 2
When a chick says we need to talk, you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 14 Episode 10
Statistically speaking, the most bacteria-ridden place on the planet is the mouth of an American woman.
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 13 Episode 1
Cartman: "Have you seen this trick? When someone's sleeping, you can take a glass of warm water, and when you put their hand in it..."
Stan: "And then what?"
Cartman: "...and then you pee on them!"
Kyle: "No, dude! You're supposed to put their hand in warm water to make THEM pee!"
Cartman: "Really? Oh well."
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 6 Episode 2
[Playing Chatroulette with Kyle] This is the way the world works, if you want to find some quality friends you have to wade through all the dicks fist.
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 14 Episode 4
Gerald Broflovski: "Well that does it, I'm going to the police!"
Stan: "For what?"
Gerald Broflovski: "To find out where Apple is keeping my son."
Stan: "Dude, when the police want to know where somebody is, they ask Apple!"
Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 1
Cartman: "I'm not the one walking around all day like Pippi Longstocking."
Stan: "Well, at least my mom isn't on the cover of Crack Wh*re magazine."
Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 1 Episode 7
Teacher: "You think art is not important?"
Stan: "Well, art is just kinda for gaywads."
Butters: "I love our class!"
Stan: "See?!"
Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 7 Episode 2
Kyle: "It's Mr. Hanky! I think he's in some kind of trouble."
Stan: "Dude, how do you tell if a piece of poo is in trouble?"
Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 2 Episode 9
A summer without fireworks sucks ass.
Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 2 Episode 8
Stan: "We're not getting on, you ugly b*tch!"
Ms. Crabtree: "What did you say?!"
Stan: "I said, we're not getting on, you ugly b*tch!"
Ms. Crabtree: "Oh, all right then."
Kyle: "Woah, dude.'"
Stan: "I always wondered if that would work."
Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 1 Episode 13
Stan: "We always run late, you sk*nk."
Ms. Crabtree: "What did you say?!"
Stan: "I can't wait to own a fishing tank."
Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 1 Episode 7
Mr Garrison: "What is 5x2? Come on, children. Don't be shy, just give it your best shot. Yes, Clyde?"
Clyde: "12?"
Mr Garrison: "Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard."
Mr. Garrison: "Then maybe you can tell me who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early sixties."
Eric Cartman: "A bunch of fat old sk-nks on their periods?"
Mr. Garrison: "Right, but who was the fattest oldest sk-nk on her period?"
Mr. Garrison in South Park - Season 7 Episode 5
Mr. Garrison: "Where are you from?"
Damien: "The Seventh Layer of Hell."
Mr. Garrison: "Oh, my mother was from Alabama."
Mr. Garrison in South Park - Season 1 Episode 10
I believe
That the Lord God created the universe.
I believe
That he sent his only son to die for my sins.
And I believe
That ancient Jews built boats and sailed to America.
I am a Mormon.
And a Mormon just believes.
Elder Price in The Book of Mormon - I Believe
I got a feeling,
That you could be feeling,
A whole lot better then you feel today
You say you got a problem,
well thats no problem,
It's super easy not to feel that way!
Elder McKinley in The Book of Mormon - Turn It Off
Now it's our time to go out
And set that world's people free.
And we can do it together,
You and me - but mostly me.
The Book of Mormon - You And Me (But Mostly Me)
Two by two,
We're marching door to door
Cause God loves Mormons,
And he wants some more!
A two year mission is our sacrifice!
We are the army of the church of
Jesus Christ!
The Book of Mormon - Two By Two
Soon I'll be off in a different place,
Helping the whole human race.
I know my mission will be
Something incredible!
Elder Price in The Book of Mormon - Two By Two
You're gonna die someday
But if you read this book you'll see
That there's another way.
Spend eternity
With friends and family.
We can fully guarantee you that
This book will change your life!
Every once in a while, it's important to adjust your altitude.
Welcome to colorful Colorado!
Colorado - fresh air and fond memories served daily.
Colorado - Switzerland of America.
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.
Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away - and going away means forgetting.
For the soul, laughing is what oxygen is for the lungs.
It's not about the absence of fear. It's overcoming it.
If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.
My philosophy is: It's none of my business what people say of me and think of me.
My father always said, "Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their book shelf" - so I make sure I read.
We think too much and feel too little.
If one does not attach himself to people and desires, never shall his heart be broken. But then, does he ever truly live?
One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real.
I'm much more proud of being a father than being an actor.

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