The best Quotes by Tommy Cooper

The best Quotes by Tommy Cooper

Thomas Frederick Cooper (19 March 1921 – 15 April 1984) was a Welsh prop comedian and magician. As an entertainer, his appearance was large and lumbering at 6 feet 4 inches (1.93 m), and he habitually wore a red fez when performing. He served in the British Army for seven years, before developing his conjuring skills and becoming a member of The Magic Circle.

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
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I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
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Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
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