A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
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It is strange with how little notice, good, bad, or indifferent, a man may live and die in London.
I've often thought a blind man could find his way through London simply by gauging the changes in innuendo: mild through Trafalgar Square, less veiled towards the river.
Louis Bayard - Mr. Timothy
I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.
I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive.
London. The beating heart of England.
England is my home. London is my home. New York feels like, if I have to spend a year living in an unfamiliar city, this is a pretty lovely one to spend a year in, but I will be going home at the end of it, certainly.
Fashion needs fresh blood, and London is the most creative place for that.
Look at London or Paris: they're both filthy. You don't get that in Tokyo. The proud residents look after their city.
By seeing London, I have seen as much of life as the world can show.
I love to come to L.A. to visit, and then I like to come to rainy old London because it's home.
In London I feel free; nobody bothers anyone and everyone is free to express themselves.
There's nowhere else like London. Nothing at all, anywhere.
The best creative no longer has to originate in Chicago or London; it will be coming from Stockholm, Tokyo, and Seoul as well.
One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.
Joe Biden - März 2024
What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.
The Wok.
I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.
When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
London
People