Quotes by Tommy Cooper

Thomas Frederick Cooper was a British prop comedian and magician. He habitually wore a red fez, and his appearance was large and lumbering, at 6 feet 5 inches and more than 15 stone in weight.

The best Quotes and Sayings

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

Tommy Cooper
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I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'

Tommy Cooper
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Tommy Cooper
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So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'

Tommy Cooper
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Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

Tommy Cooper
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