Quotes by Tom Haverford

One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn't know what to do. I just moved.

I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?

I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

I'm like an elephant, okay? If I walk into a room, it's like, okay, he's in there.

Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.