One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn't know what to do. I just moved.
Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation, Season 5 Episode 19Comment
I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?
Tom Haverford in Parks and RecreationComment
I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
Tom Haverford in Parks and RecreationComment
I'm like an elephant, okay? If I walk into a room, it's like, okay, he's in there.
Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation, Season 3 Episode 13Comment
Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.
Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation, Season 5 Episode 6Comment