The best Toasts for your night out

Here's to the bullets that'll take our lives
The ba-tards that'll marry our wives
The wh-res that'll bury our sons
And to tomorrow... hope it never comes

Some ships are wooden ships but those ships may sink. The best ships are friendships, and to those ships we drink.

There are big ships, and there are small ships, and there are ships that sail the sea
But there's no ship like a friendship, so here's to you and me

Here's to courage, here's to honor
If you can't come in her, come on her

To rattlesnakes and condoms... two things I don't f*ck with.

If the ocean were beer and I was a duck
I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up
But the ocean's not beer and I'm no duck
So let's take these shots and get f*cked up

Here's to those that have seen us at our best and our worst, and can't tell the difference.

Here's to p*ssy and gunpoweder
Live by one, die by the other, love the smell of both

Vaginas

Here's to you and here's to me
May we never disagree
And if so happen that we do
Cheers to me and f*ck you

To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.

Marriage

Here's to good Irish friends - never above you, never below you, always beside you!

Ireland St. Patrick's Day

Here's to good friends and texting your ex and telling her you miss her
If she doesn't reply then just f*ck her sister

May your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, angels protect you, and heaven accept you.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 18

Alcohol

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Everything's better with some wine in the belly.

Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones - Season 1 Episode 2

Alcohol Wine

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

Bob Marley

Alcohol Drugs Marijuana & Weed

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Dean Martin

Alcohol Funny Quotes

'That's the problem with drinking', I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

Charles Bukowski in Women

Alcohol

The damage has been done. All that's left to do now is drink until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead.

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 18

Alcohol

Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain-cells.

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 6 Episode 3

Alcohol Brain

It is not true that drink changes a man's character. It may reveal it more clearly.

John Osborne

Alcohol

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

Ernest Hemingway

Alcohol Intelligence

That's what I do. I drink and I know things.

Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones - Season 6 Episode 2

Knowledge Alcohol

Drinking alone is like sh*tting in company.

Zoltan Chivay in The Witcher - III

Alcohol

Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Frank Sinatra

Alcohol Night

That's all drugs and alcohol do, they cut off your emotions in the end.

Ringo Starr

Alcohol Drugs

A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.

Charlie Chaplin

Alcohol

Never trust a bartender with bad grammar.

Kyle Katarn in Star Wars Games - Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast

Kneipensprüche

We pledged ourselves to each other in the middle of a tavern brawl. The whole place reeked of vomit, sweat and blood. It was so romantic!

Xayah, the Rebel in League of Legends

Kneipensprüche

A good riddle reveals the asker. To solve it is to solve the mystery of the person posing it.

Edward Nygma / The Riddler in Gotham - Season 3 Episode 17

A man with nothing that he loves is a man who cannot be bargained. A man that cannot be betrayed. A man who answers to no one but himself.

Edward Nygma / The Riddler in Gotham

Welcome to the Burning Man Festival 2015 in the middle of buttf*ck nowhere, a Mekka, a melting pot of STDs.

Ozzy Man Reviews - MEGA COMPILATION #4

Festivals Burning Man

We live for the nights that no one remembers, with the people we will never forget.

Parties Raves

Fear doesn't need conquering. Fear tells you where the edge is. Fear is a good thing.

James Gordon in Gotham - Season 1 Episode 1

Fear

Frank: "Why you gotta be such an asshole?"
Lip: "Apple fell where you dropped it."

Phillip Gallagher in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 4

Vaginas

It's the way it works: Love plus time minus distance equals hate.

Louis C. K. - 2017

Relationships Marriage

They say God invented whiskey to stop the Irish from rulin' the world.

Irish in Red Dead Redemption

Ireland Whiskey St. Patrick's Day

It is St. Patrick's Day and here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.

Michael Scott in The Office - Season 6 Episode 19

St. Patrick's Day

If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 5

Weapons NRA

My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!

Abraham Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 19

I'm more than a man. I'm an idea, a philosophy. And I will live on in the shadows within Gotham's discontent. You'll be seeing me soon. Au revoir.

Jerome Valeska in Gotham

I promise you, however dark and scary the world might be right now, there will be light. There will be light, Bruce.

James Gordon in Gotham - Season 1 Episode 1

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Oswald Cobblepot / The Penguin in Gotham - Season 1 Episode 15

There is time for masks, and there is time for Bruce Wayne.

Alfred Pennyworth in Gotham

When crooks become more popular than cops, that's anarchy.

Harvey Bullock in Gotham - Season 1 Episode 17

The best Toasts for your night out - Cheers!

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