The best Toasts for your night out - Cheers!

Here's to the nights that turned into mornings,
and the friends that turned into family!

The less you have, the more they're worth. To friends!

Here's to the bullets that'll take our lives
The ba-tards that'll marry our wives
The wh-res that'll bury our sons
And to tomorrow... hope it never comes

Some ships are wooden ships but those ships may sink. The best ships are friendships, and to those ships we drink.

There are big ships, and there are small ships, and there are ships that sail the sea
But there's no ship like a friendship, so here's to you and me

Here's to courage, here's to honor
If you can't come in her, come on her

To rattlesnakes and condoms... two things I don't f*ck with.

If the ocean were beer and I was a duck
I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up
But the ocean's not beer and I'm no duck
So let's take these shots and get f*cked up

Here's to those that have seen us at our best and our worst, and can't tell the difference.

Here's to p*ssy and gunpoweder
Live by one, die by the other, love the smell of both

Here's to you and here's to me
May we never disagree
And if so happen that we do
Cheers to me and f*ck you

To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.

Here's to good Irish friends - never above you, never below you, always beside you!

Here's to good friends and texting your ex and telling her you miss her
If she doesn't reply then just f*ck her sister

May your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, angels protect you, and heaven accept you.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

Everything's better with some wine in the belly.

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

'That's the problem with drinking', I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

The damage has been done. All that's left to do now is drink until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead.

Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain-cells.

It is not true that drink changes a man's character. It may reveal it more clearly.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

That's what I do. I drink and I know things.

Drinking alone is like sh*tting in company.

Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.

That's all drugs and alcohol do, they cut off your emotions in the end.

A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.

Never trust a bartender with bad grammar.

We pledged ourselves to each other in the middle of a tavern brawl. The whole place reeked of vomit, sweat and blood. It was so romantic!

A good riddle reveals the asker. To solve it is to solve the mystery of the person posing it.

A man with nothing that he loves is a man who cannot be bargained. A man that cannot be betrayed. A man who answers to no one but himself.

Welcome to the Burning Man Festival 2015 in the middle of buttf*ck nowhere, a Mekka, a melting pot of STDs.

We live for the nights that no one remembers, with the people we will never forget.

Fear doesn't need conquering. Fear tells you where the edge is. Fear is a good thing.

Frank: "Why you gotta be such an asshole?"
Lip: "Apple fell where you dropped it."

It's the way it works: Love plus time minus distance equals hate.

They say God invented whiskey to stop the Irish from rulin' the world.

It is St. Patrick's Day and here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.

If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.

My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!

I'm more than a man. I'm an idea, a philosophy. And I will live on in the shadows within Gotham's discontent. You'll be seeing me soon. Au revoir.

I promise you, however dark and scary the world might be right now, there will be light. There will be light, Bruce.

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

There is time for masks, and there is time for Bruce Wayne.

When crooks become more popular than cops, that's anarchy.