The best Quotes by Tim Conway

The best Quotes by Tim Conway

Thomas Daniel "Tim" Conway (December 15, 1933 – May 14, 2019) was an American actor, comedian, writer, and director.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.
My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.
My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.
As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone laugh is a much better way to solve a problem than by using your fists.
I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

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That's L.A. They worship everything and they value nothing.
Sebastian Wilder in La La Land
1
Welcome to a city where people trying to disappear aren't actually trying.
Joe Goldberg in You - Season 2 Episode 2
1
I lived in L.A. for a few months. It seemed like no one there had parents. Or if they did have parents, they would deny it.
1
Linda: "Why did you decide to come to Los Angeles?"
Lucifer: "The same reason as everyone else: the weather, p*rnstars, Mexican food."
Lucifer Morningstar in Lucifer - Season 1 Episode 3
1
People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
Los Angeles was the kind of place where everybody was from somewhere else and nobody really droppped anchor.
Michael Connelly in The Lincoln Lawyer - The Brass Verdict
The L.A. weather is a lot like Taiwan's, where you don't observe four seasons, so the years can pass and you don't feel a thing.
California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - October 2022
New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.
Lalo Salamanca in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 5
We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.
All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.
1
Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.
The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.
Things are tough all over, cupcake. An' it rains on the just an' the unjust alike... except in California.
Silk Spectre in Watchmen -
1
Biden has won so many times in Michigan now.
He's legally required to change his name to Ohio State.
There's nothing wrong with Ohio
Except the snow and the rain
Bowling for Soup - Ohio (Come Back to Texas), Album: A Hangover You Don’t Deserve
East Coast style + Midwest charm = Ohio girl
Coming from southeast Ohio it's a very impoverished area and the poverty rate is almost two times the national average.
Joe Burrow - December 2019
Ohio girls - the kind of girl you can take home to meet your mom, but can outdrink your dad.
Home is where the heart is and the heart is in Ohio.
If you don't like the weather in Southern Ohio, just wait 15 minutes.
Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain. Because life's greatest lessons are learned through pain.
20
The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That's guaranteed.
35
Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.
Olaf Schubert in heute-show - heute-show vom 08.09.2017
One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".
2
To never be sick can't be healthy.
F*ck reason - long live the nonsense!
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.
Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!
The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.
Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
This is the end of Wladimir Putin.
Jan Böhmermann - February 2022
Dubai accomplished that boom through lots of hard work... by slaves.
Jan Böhmermann (ZDF Magazin Royale) - vom 12.02.2021
People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.
Steve Harvey - February 2021
Harvey: "You gonna sit up here on national TV and say 'nekkid', and then point at the damn board like we gonna let you get away with it!"
Contestant: "I bet you said 'nekkid' in one of your comedy routines."
Harvey: "You on Family Feud! This ain't a comedy routine!"
Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.
The only time you should look back in life is to see how far you have come.
Spotify, the app with the entire history of recorded music that you only use to listen to four songs that you liked in high school.
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - The Truth Behind Music Streaming
You don't need to show up like a SWAT Team to rescue a Barbie from a little girl. If anything, you should be rescuing the little girl from the Barbie. Should be getting there like, "little girl, watch out! That Barbie can give you a warped sense of what a woman's body is supposed to be!"
Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.
The language you are about to hear… is disturbing.

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