The best Quotes by Tim Allen

The best Quotes by Tim Allen

Timothy Alan Dick (born June 13, 1953), known professionally as Tim Allen, is an American actor and comedian. He is known for playing Tim "The Toolman" Taylor on the ABC sitcom Home Improvement (1991–1999) for which he won a Golden Globe Award and Mike Baxter on the ABC/Fox sitcom Last Man Standing (2011–2021). He voices Buzz Lightyear for the Toy Story franchise for which he won an Annie Award and played Scott Calvin and Santa Claus in The Santa Clause franchise (1994–present). Allen's other films include Tropical Snow (1988), Galaxy Quest (1999), Joe Somebody (2001), Zoom (2006), Wild Hogs (2007), The Six Wives of Henry Lefay (2009), Crazy on the Outside (2010), 3 Geezers! (2013), and El Camino Christmas (2017).

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.
In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

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How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet! My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!
Come on. Let’s see how much we’re going for on eBay.
Hamm in Toy Story
Buzz Lightyear: "Excuse me, I think the word you're searching for is 'Space Ranger'."
Woody: "The word I'm searching for I can't say, because there's preschool toys present."
Woody in Toy Story
We’re not preschool toys, Slinky. We can read.
Mr. Potato Head in Toy Story
Your'e right, Prospector. I can't stop Andy from growing up... but I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Woody in Toy Story
Rex: "No, no, no, no."
Buzz Lightyear: "Oh, you almost had him."
Rex: "I'm never gonna defeat Zurg!"
Buzz Lightyear: "Sure, you will, Rex. In fact, you're a better Buzz than I am."
Rex: "But look at my little arms! I can't press the 'fire' button and 'jump' at the same time!"
Woody once risked his life to save mine, and I couldn't call myself his friend if I wasn't willing to do the same.
We have a friend in need, and we will not rest until he's safe in Andy's room.
I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Alien toys: "You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful."
Mrs. Potato-Head: "You saved their lives? My hero! They're so adorable. Let's adopt them!"
Alien toys: "Daddy!"
There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.
Woody: "Hey, Buzz! You're flying."
Buzz Lightyear: "This isn't flying, this is falling with style!"
Mo: "You got a clean record, and you're free and armed. How are you still complaining?"
Darby: "I got off for good behavior, not good attitude."
Darby Steel in Lightyear
Darby: "You are the last person I wanna be stuck with in a life-and-death situation."
Mo: "Well, you're in luck, okay? 'Cause look around. This is just a 'death' situation!"
Mo Morrison in Lightyear
Izzy: "Let's review our objectives!"
Woman: "Kill the robots."
Man: "And don't die."
Woman: "'Don't die' is just something you wanna do every day."
I.V.A.N.: "You failed to reach hyperspeed."
Buzz: "Didn't need to hear that, I.V.A.N."
I.V.A.N.: "You didn't hear that. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll repeat."
I.V.A.N. in Lightyear
I.V.A.N.: "Mission failure imminent, please record your last words."
Buzz: "Not today, I.V.A.N."
I.V.A.N.: "If you are satisfied with this recording, speak or select one."
I.V.A.N. in Lightyear
Buzz Lightyear mission log, stardate 4071. As members of the Elite Universe Protection Unit of the Space Ranger Corps, we've been charged to protect the galaxy from the threat of invasion from any sworn enemies of the Galactic Alliance.
Buzz Lightyear mission log, stardate 3901. Sensors have detected potential life forms on an uncharted planet. So we're making a detour to investigate.
After a full year of being marooned on this planet, our specialized crew have put this planet's vast resources to incredible use. Finally, our first hyperspeed test flight is a go.
You can leave Denver, but it will never leave you.
Denver is home to me, and to be recognized for my achievements in the sports community here is a great honor.
They say money can't buy happiness. But it can book your flight to Denver - which is kinda the same.
Every once in a while, it's important to adjust your altitude.
Welcome to colorful Colorado!
You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado.
Colorado - fresh air and fond memories served daily.
Colorado - Switzerland of America.
Change and stress can make people feel powerless.
Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
Only those who dare truly live.
For the soul, laughing is what oxygen is for the lungs.
It's not about the absence of fear. It's overcoming it.
If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.
My philosophy is: It's none of my business what people say of me and think of me.
My father always said, "Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their book shelf" - so I make sure I read.
We think too much and feel too little.
If one does not attach himself to people and desires, never shall his heart be broken. But then, does he ever truly live?
One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real.
I'm much more proud of being a father than being an actor.
I dream of a day where I walk down the street and hear people talk about Morality, Sustainibility and Philoshophy instead of the Kardashians.
It's easy to fool the eye but it's hard to fool the heart.
You know, not only am I campaigning, but I'm running the world.
Joe Biden - Juli 2024

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