The best Quotes by Tig Notaro

The best Quotes by Tig Notaro

Mathilde "Tig" O'Callaghan Notaro (born March 24, 1971) is an American stand-up comedian, writer, radio contributor, and actress, known for her deadpan comedy.

I'm always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something's dark, I'll do it.
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As a kid, I loved Paula Poundstone and Richard Pryor. But my mother was a huge influence on my comedy.
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My career has always kind of moved forward and upward. I've never had anything kind of stall out or go in the opposite direction. I've always kind of been moving in the right direction.
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Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued.
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I didn't like to stop playing for a second to bother with eating or going to the bathroom. I was a really skinny kid, and I remember my mother always telling people, 'I don't know how she's alive. I think she gets all of her nutrients from air pollution.'
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Bly Tanaka: "It's not every man who saves the secretary of defense from a horde of flesh-eating monsters, earns the Medal of Freedom, only to end up..."
Vanderohe: "...working at a burger joint. Mr. Tanaka, I am well aware of my situation."
Vanderohe in Army of the Dead
It is by going down into the abyss where we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.
Vanderohe in Army of the Dead
Scott Ward: "What would you say about making five hundred grand?"
Mikey Guzman: "I'd say, 'Who the hell do I got to kill?'"
Mikey Guzman in Army of the Dead
Think about it. Everything we did, all those people we saved. Look what it got us. But what if just once, we did something just for us?
Scott Ward: "So you think it's a bad idea?"
Maria Cruz: "Come on, Scotty. It's not a matter of 'think'. It's a matter of 'is', and it is a bad goddamn idea!"
Maria Cruz in Army of the Dead
If you coordinate, and communicate, this should be a simple in-and-out.
Bly Tanaka in Army of the Dead
How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?
One Mississippi.
One day, I know the struggle will change. There's got to be a change - not only for Mississippi, not only for the people in the United States, but people all over the world.
They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Mississippi - and that's pretty much the same thing.
I believe the ability to think is blessed. If you can think about a situation, you can deal with it. The big struggle is to keep your head clear enough to think.
Sure, I have friends, plenty of friends, and they all come around wantin' to borrow money. I've always been generous with my friends and family, with money, but selfish with the important stuff like love.
Everyone carries around his own monsters.
Imagine people calling you to find out if you're dead. I've led a real crazy life at times, and I've had many strange things happen to me, but that was one of the strangest.
I know that if I wasn't scared, something's wrong, because the thrill is what's scary.
Just overwhelmed with gratitude. What an honor it is to run alongside President Donald J. Trump. He delivered peace and prosperity once, and with your help, he'll do it again.
J. D. Vance - Juli 2024

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Army of the DeadMississippiRichard PryorThe best Quotes and SayingsPeople