To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!
Homer Simpson - Season 8 Episode 18
11My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!
Abraham Simpson - Season 9 Episode 19
4If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.
Homer Simpson - Season 9 Episode 5
3This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.
Homer Simpson - Season 24 Episode 5
3No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
Homer Simpson - Season 8 Episode 10
3All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
This room is like a museum of old, useless crap... by which I mean every museum.
Homer Simpson - Season 24 Episode 4
2Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson - Season 5 Episode 18
2If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half a-sed. That's the American way.
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well… all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
Ooh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out! What's next, finding out what operas I go to?
Homer: "Do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast?"
Marge: "Well, like all Americans… fast!"
Marge: "Well, like all Americans… fast!"
Good things don't end with "eum", they end with "mania" or "teria".
We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.
Cletus Spuckler - Season 18 Episode 14
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.
Homer Simpson - Season 9 Episode 5
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: "Cover for me."
Number 2: "Oh, good idea, Boss!"
Number 3: "It was like that when I got here."
Number 1: "Cover for me."
Number 2: "Oh, good idea, Boss!"
Number 3: "It was like that when I got here."
Quotes about The Simpsons
I always wanted to be a film-maker when I was younger, not an actor. I was an eight-year-old who dreamed of being a writer on 'The Simpsons,' which was a weird dream to have. But I started taking acting classes as a way to learn how to direct actors and I sort of fell in love with it.
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My standard comment is, "If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson."
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Whoa, this is big. I really need some time to drink about this.
Princess Bean in Disenchantment - Season 3 Episode 4
1Man, after-work drinks taste so much better than instead-of-work drinks.
Princess Bean in Disenchantment - Season 3 Episode 4
If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America. They don’t care for human beings.
Everything's better with some wine in the belly.
Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones - Season 1 Episode 2
9If you gave back every stolen artifact from a museum, you'd be left with an empty building.
Commander Rourke in Atlantis - The Lost Empire
1