Quotes from The Simpsons

Quotes from The Simpsons

We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.

- Cletus Spuckler in The Simpsons, Season 18 Episode 14

If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.

- Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5Gun-Control

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

- Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.

- Homer Simpson in The Simpsons

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

- Homer Simpson in The SimpsonsMarriage

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: 'Cover for me.'
Number 2: 'Oh, good idea, Boss!'
Number 3: 'It was like that when I got here.'

- Homer Simpson in The Simpsons

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

- Homer Simpson in The Simpsons

I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

- Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 3

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

- Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 18

If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.

- Homer Simpson in The SimpsonsAmerica

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake ID's.

- Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 10Beer

Where's the 'any key'? Hm... I think I order a 'tab'.

- Homer Simpson in The SimpsonsBeer, Computer

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

- Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 18Alcohol

My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!

- Abraham Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 19

Characters from The Simpsons