The best Quotes from The Simpsons

24 Quotes · 1 Mentions

The best Quotes from The Simpsons

First aired

December 17, 1989

Creator

Matt Groening

Genre

satire · black comedy · animated sitcom

Seasons

37

Episodes

805

Cast

Dan Castellaneta · Julie Kavner · Hank Azaria · Joe Mantegna · Nancy Cartwright

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

Homer Simpson - Season 8 Episode 1811

My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!

Abraham Simpson - Season 9 Episode 194

If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.

Homer Simpson - Season 9 Episode 53

This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.

Homer Simpson - Season 24 Episode 53

I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

Homer Simpson - Season 5 Episode 33

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

Homer Simpson - Season 8 Episode 103

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Alcohol Beer Brain

Homer Simpson3

This room is like a museum of old, useless crap... by which I mean every museum.

Homer Simpson - Season 24 Episode 42

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

Homer Simpson - Season 14 Episode 22

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

Homer Simpson2

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer Simpson - Season 5 Episode 182

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.

Homer Simpson1

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.

Homer Simpson1

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

Weddings Marriage

Homer Simpson1

If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half a-sed. That's the American way.

Homer Simpson1

Where's the "any key"? Hm... I think I order a "tab".

Homer Simpson1

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Homer Simpson

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well… all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

Homer Simpson

Ooh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out! What's next, finding out what operas I go to?

Homer Simpson

Homer: "Do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast?"
Marge: "Well, like all Americans… fast!"

Marge Simpson

Good things don't end with "eum", they end with "mania" or "teria".

Homer Simpson

We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.

Cletus Spuckler - Season 18 Episode 14

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

Homer Simpson - Season 9 Episode 5

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: "Cover for me."
Number 2: "Oh, good idea, Boss!"
Number 3: "It was like that when I got here."

Homer Simpson

Quotes about The Simpsons

I always wanted to be a film-maker when I was younger, not an actor. I was an eight-year-old who dreamed of being a writer on 'The Simpsons,' which was a weird dream to have. But I started taking acting classes as a way to learn how to direct actors and I sort of fell in love with it.