Quotes from The Simpsons

Quotes from The Simpsons

We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.

Cletus Spuckler in The Simpsons, Season 18 Episode 14
 
Comment 

If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.

Gun-ControlHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5
2
Comment 

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 5
 
Comment 

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons
1
Comment 

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

MarriageHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
1
Comment 

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: 'Cover for me.'
Number 2: 'Oh, good idea, Boss!'
Number 3: 'It was like that when I got here.'

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons
 
Comment 

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons
2
Comment 

I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 3
3
Comment 

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 5 Episode 18
2
Comment 

If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.

AmericaHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
1
Comment 

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake ID's.

BeerHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 10
3
Comment 

Where's the 'any key'? Hm... I think I order a 'tab'.

Beer, ComputerHomer Simpson in The Simpsons
1
Comment 

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

AlcoholHomer Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 18
11
Comment 

My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!

Abraham Simpson in The Simpsons, Season 9 Episode 19
4
Comment 

Characters from The Simpsons