The best Quotes from The Muppet Show

The best Quotes from The Muppet Show

The Muppet Show is a sketch comedy television series created by Jim Henson and starring the Muppets. The series originated as two pilot episodes produced by Henson for ABC in 1974 and 1975. While neither episode was moved forward as a series and other networks in the United States rejected Henson's proposals, British producer Lew Grade expressed enthusiasm for the project and agreed to co-produce The Muppet Show for the British channel ATV.

Statler: "Mit den Jahren gefällt mir die Show immer besser."
Waldorf: "Weil die Witze immer besser werden?"
Statler: "Nein, weil mein Gehör immer schlechter wird!"
Statler: "Do you think this show is educational?"
Waldorf: "Yes. It'll drive people to read books."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 1 Episode 2
Waldorf: "Statler isn't here tonight, Kermit. He's sick."
Kermit: "Oh, that's too bad. The flu?"
Waldorf: "No, the show. He's sick of it."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 4 Episode 13
Waldorf: "Just when you think the show is terrible, something wonderful happens."
Statler: "What?"
Waldorf: "It ends."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 4 Episode 3
Statler: "I know what is wrong, with this show, it's the theater."
Waldorf: "What's wrong with it?"
Statler: "The seats face the stage."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 2 Episode 1
Nurse Piggy: "It's too late, Dr. Bob. We've lost him."
Doctor Bob: "Well, he couldn't have gone so far. He was under the sheet just a second ago."
Doctor Bob - Season 1 Episode 17
Waldorf: "How should we know how to get to Sesame Street?"
Statler: "We don't even know how to get out of this stupid theater box!"
Waldorf & Statler - Season 5 Episode 18
Waldorf: "Well, this has been an evening to remember."
Statler: "Why?"
Waldorf: "I forgot."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 4 Episode 18
Waldorf: "Do you think there's life in outer space?"
Statler: "There's certainly none in this theater."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 4 Episode 17
Changes happen as time passes by. Soon enough, you'll be grown.
Statler: "Are you ready for the end of the world?"
Waldorf: "Sure! It couldn't be any worse than this show."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 5 Episode 24
You are what you eat, which I guess makes me part mosquito.
Kermit the Frog - Before You Leap
Listen everybody, we've got nothing to be ashamed of. And you know why? Well because, thanks to Walter here we tried. And if we failed, we failed together and to me that's not failing at all.
Statler: "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were reciting some sort of important plot point."
Waldorf: "I hope so. Otherwise I would've bored half the audience half to death."
Statler: "You mean half the audience is still alive?"
I've got a dream too, but it's about singing and dancing and making people happy. That's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with.
Bert: "Ernie... did I make a complete fool of myself?"
Ernie: "Absolutely, Bert."
Ernie & Bert - Season 1 Episode 2
Just because you haven't found your talent yet, doesn't mean you don't have one.
Today me will live in the moment, unless it's unpleasant in which case me will eat a cookie.
Statler: "Is this movie in 3D?"
Waldorf: "Nope! The Muppets are as one-dimensional as they've always been."
Waldorf: "Pay up, they made it through another one."
Statler: "Double or nothing on next week's show?"
Waldorf: "You're on."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 1 Episode 6
Rico Rodriguez: "Are you one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"
Kermit: "Yes I am!"
Statler: "I liked that last number."
Waldorf: "What did you like about it?"
Statler: "It was the LAST number."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 3 Episode 6
Statler: "He was doing okay until he fell off the stage."
Waldorf: "Wrong. He was doing okay until he came on the stage."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 2 Episode 15
Waldorf: "Yeah, whadya think?"
Statler: "Beats sitting home watching television."
Waldorf & Statler - Season 1 Episode 1
Gonzo: "Hey, Kermit, are you busy?"
Kermit: "Yes, Gonzo, but I can give you my ear for a minute."
Gonzo: "What would I do with your ear?"
Kermit: "Van Gogh impressions."
Kermit the Frog - Season 1 Episode 9
Sometimes me think, "What is a friend?" And then me say, "a friend is someone to share the last cookie with."
Milton Berle: "You're the two guys that I heard about that heckle from the box, huh? There they are ladies and gentlemen. Take a good look at them. Starski & Crutch. Now don't start with me boys, don't start."
Statler: "Hey, Berle."
Milton Berle: "What?"
Statler: "You know what? I've just figured out your style."
Milton Berle: "Really?"
Statler: "You work like Gregory Peck."
Milton Berle: "Gregory Peck's not a comedian."
Statler: "Well?"
Milton Berle: "Now just a minute, please. I have been a successful comedian half of my life."
Waldorf: "How come we got this half?"
Milton Berle: "Look, did you two come in here to be entertained or not?"
Statler: "That's right."
Milton Berle: "What's right?"
Statler: "We came in here to be entertained, and we're not!"
Milton Berle: "Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you come down here and be funny."
Waldorf: "You first!"
Milton Berle: "Don't pay any attention to him, folks. He's the ninth child of a family of eight! Let me tell the story."
Statler: "Hey, hey, Berle!"
Milton Berle: "Ohhh... Yeah, what is it? What is it?"
Statler: "You know what you're doing wrong?"
Milton Berle: "What'm I doing wrong?"
Statler: "You're standing too close to the audience."
Milton Berle: "Oh, yeah? How is this?"
Statler: "You're still too close."
Milton Berle: "Oh, sorry. Is this okay?"
Statler: "No, a little more."
Milton Berle: "How far back do you want me to go?"
Statler: "You got a car?"
Milton Berle: "Let me tell you something: If you don't stop, I'll have the usher throw you out!"
Waldorf: "He can't. He's too busy."
Milton Berle: "Doing what?"
Waldorf: "Keeping people in!"
Milton Berle: "And you're encouraging them! That's what you're doing! You know, I got a good mind to punch you in your nose."
Waldorf: "Please, not while I'm holding it."
Milton Berle: "That's very funny."
Waldorf: "Ah, you can use it."
Milton Berle: "I don't need your material, pal. I got a million funny lines in the back of my head."
Statler: "Yeah? How come they never reach your mouth?"
Waldorf & Statler - Season 2 Episode 3

Quotes about The Muppet Show

It's like he's off "The Muppets", man, stuck between like, the Cookie Monster and Kermit the Frog. It's a mix of the two.
Travis Kelce - October 2018, about Mahomes' voice
I look a little like Beaker. I think I'm a cross between Beaker and The Count. My hair looks like Oscar the Grouch. It's Muppety hair.
When The Muppet Show ended, we all sat around and said, what kind of television show would we like to do. We felt the need these days are for some quality children's programming.

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The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children.
My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here.
Home is where heart is. Heart where cookie is. Math clear: home is cookie.
[Asked why he lives in a trash can] Well, the rent is cheap and I love trash, so I figured I would be close to it if I lived in a trash can myself.
[Ernie] I can't hear you, I have a banana in my ear.
The first rule of being a ninja is: Do no harm. Unless you mean to do harm. Then do lots of harm!
Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash!
Dear cookies, that isn't fat, it's external storage for more of you.
I love these guys right here. The men that we just won this thing with, family forever, baby. I couldn't be more proud of you guys. We get a chance to do it three times in a row!
Travis Kelce - February 2024, about the Chiefs' Super Bowl Win

Related pages to The Muppet Show

Waldorf & StatlerKermit the FrogJim HensonCookie MonsterCookiesSesame StreetErnie & BertTeenage Mutant Ninja TurtlesOscar the GrouchDoctor Bob