Quotes from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Carlton: "Within an hour, I'll have a gorgeous date and a great Halloween costume."
Will: "You better buy the mask first!"

Will: "Carlton, I misjudged you. You're a lot cooler than I thought. Hey, you wanna go to the club with us tonight?"
Carlton: "I don't have a date."
Will: "Carlton, never bring a sandwich to a buffet!"

Will: "What's so funny?"
Hilary: "Carlton just told a joke."
Will: "No, Hilary, Carlton is a joke."

A hard head makes for a soft behind.

Dad, don't do anything stupid! You haven't updated your will yet.

Carlton: "If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and smells like a duck, what is it?"
Will: "Your prom date?"

Vivian: "Excuse me. I'm looking for that store with the safari clothes. I can't remember the name, but I think there's some type of produce in it."
"Banana Republic."
Vivian: "That's it. Thank you."

Any time you see a white guy in jail, you know he did something bad.

Congratulate me. It took all day, but I finally found the perfect pair of alligator pumps to wear to the "Save the Everglades" dinner tonight.

Will: "Come on Uncle Phil, you're gonna ruin my rep."
Uncle Phil: "You're only 17, you don't have a rep yet."

Carlton: "I'm sick of being such a big loser."
Will: "Aw, C... you're not big."

Oh my god, Carlton! What's that hideous thing growing out of your neck? Ah, never mind. It's just your head.

I found that any game can be made interesting if you put some money on it.

Man, I love Halloween. It's the only time of year when a black man can wear a mask at night and not get arrested!

What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess?

Girl, you look so good, I would marry your brother just to get in your family.

Carlton, you are grounded for a month. Will, added to the month that you already have, it should take you into Fiscal '91.

Phillip Banks: "Going to college isn't just about finding a job. It's about finding yourself, and finding what you do best that makes a contribution to the community. It shouldn't be just about money."
Will: "You really believe that, Uncle Phil?"
Phillip Banks: "Yes, son, I really do."
Will: "Then how do you explain becoming a lawyer?"

Phillip Banks: "Penn State would've been my first choice if my applications to Princeton, Yale, and Talledega Tech had fallen through."
Dr. Hoover: "You must have been an athlete in your thinner days."

Girl, yo feet must be tired cause you've been running through my mind all day.

Maybe I sometimes say things that are selfish and self-centered, but that's who I am, dammit.

Girl, the way you looking so good, I wish just I could plant you and grow a whole field of ya'll.

I know you can hear me with ears that big.

Fifty bucks? I could take like... 25 women out to dinner!

Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too.

Girl, don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful!

Well, someone has her rude hat on tonight.

Phillip Banks: "Geoffrey, bring me my tools."
Geoffrey: "Do you mean your knife and fork, sir?"

Now this is a story all about how
My life got twisted, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the Prince of a town called Bel-Air
In West Philadelphia, born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys, they were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight, and my mom got scared
And said "You're moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air!"
I whistled for a cab, and when it came near
The license plate said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirror
If anything, I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought: "Nah, forget it. Yo homes, to Bel-air!"
I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby "Yo homes, smell you later!"
Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air!