Quotes from The Big Bang Theory (Page 2)

Howard: 'We need a hot fifteen-year-old asian girl with a thing for smart guys.'
Penny: 'What?'
Leonard: 'Howard, that's racist! Any fifteen-year-old girl will do the trick.'
Rajesh: 'It's possible she may have missunderstood us.'

Engineering - where the semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello Oompa-Loompas of science!

Penny: 'Wow, a girl scientist.'
Leslie: 'Yep, come for the breast, stay for the brains.'

So in your world... your like the 'cool guys'.

You're asking me to use my superior intellect in a tawdry competition. Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?

Penny: 'Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello.'
Leonard: 'Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.'

Leonard: 'Well, do you have any ideas?'
Sheldon: 'Yeah, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a power ring.'

I've spent the past three-and-a-half years staring at greaseboards full of equations; before that, I spent four years working on my thesis; before that, I was in college, and before that... I was in the fifth grade.

Leonard: 'Anyway, I was thinking more of a bio-social exploration with a neuro-chemical overlay.'
Leslie: 'Wait, are you asking me out?'

Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms - or hits you with the pepper spray.

Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted, smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so you don't crash into Geek Mountain again.

Leonard: 'Sorry 'bout your car, by the way.'
Penny: 'Oh no, it's fine. You got most of it out the window.'
Leonard: 'The poor guy on the bike.'

If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.

Leonard: 'For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?'
Sheldon: 'You have a sarcasm sign?'

Sheldon: 'You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of having sexual congress with this woman?'
Leonard: 'Men do things for women without expecting sex.'
Sheldon: 'Those would be men who just had sex.'

Sheldon: 'Hey, look, I found my missing neutrino.'
Howard: 'Oh good, we can take it off the milk carton...'

Leoanrd: 'Is this the high-IQ spermbank?'
Woman: 'If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here!'