Quotes from That '90s Show

Eric: "Oh, you're getting in that car or my foot is getting in your ass!"
Red: "I have never been prouder. It's like watching you hit your first home run... if you had ever done that."

I guess I have done some crazy things. One time at the beach, a seagull stole my sandwich, and, under my breath, I called her "b-tch".

I'm sorry, babe, but you're both important to me. But Jay's had my back for the past twelve years, and you've had my front for the last six months. I can't choose.

Ah, teenagers! I feel for you, son. But, on the other hand - payback's a b-tch!

Eric: "Are her parents home?"
Leia: "No, but her older brother is."
Kitty: "Honey, you're really not helping your case."

Gwen: "Sorry. I love making people feel uncomfortable."
Leia: "You're really good at it."

Eric: "Know what the worst part is? I should be treasuring time with Leia. Instead, I mean, I can't wait for it to end."
Kitty: "Oh, sweetie. It ends when you die."

Eric: "I'm an adjunct professor now, which means I got a permanent parking space... for my bicycle. That's what happens when your course is super popular, Dad."
Red: "'The Religion of Star Wars'? This country's gonna lose the next war."
Eric: "Not if it's an intergalactic battle between good and evil."

Why, I bet you're a holy terror on the basketball court. I hear you got your mom's jump shot and your dad's... last name.

Nate: "This whiny vagina music is bumming me out!"
Gwen: "Me and my new friend are gonna start a band and call it Whiny Vagina."
Nate: "I'm gonna start a band and call it That's Stupid."

Master Yoda was a puppet from a fake world with some guy's hand up his butt.

I brought you some fresh Florida oranges. I used 'em as a pillow on the plane. So if you find any curly hairs in there, that's me.

Red: "It's gonna be a long day."
Bob: "Hey there, hi there, ho there!"
Red: "Aaand it just got longer."

That is a great idea. Because when you stand behind your kids, it's easier... to put your foot in their a-s.

I'm a pretty big deal in Debate Club. That's not up for debate! ...Yeah, I'm not popular.

Kitty: "I have to make a shopping list. The kids are gonna want snacks."
Red: "Don't feed them, Kitty! That's how it started the first time."

I'm going to get Fritos, Tostitos, Doritos... all the "itos". I am back, baby!

Nate: "Wow, look, Nik. A shooting star. Make a wish!"
Nikki: "That's a firework, babe."

Nikki: "Do you wanna hear about the Donkey Kong conspiracy? He's a gorilla!"
Nate: "It's kinda like how Sheryl Crow isn't actually a crow."

I love having the house full again. It just fills me with joy.

If you're worried about fitting in with everyone else, you found the people who don't fit in.

If they go in my room, my foot goes in their a-s!

Red: "Lights on, shirts on, and no dancing!"
Leia: "No dancing. You're like the guy from Footloose."

Red: "Get out!"
Kitty: "We never lock the sliding door."
Red: "We do now."