Thanksgiving is almost here and as soon as people realize how much money they have to spend on holiday gifts, their wallets snap tighter than Kim Kardashian's legs after the wedding check cleared.
Max Black in 2 Broke Girls, Season 1 Episode 10I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.
American FootballCraig FergusonBe thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
Gratitude, SatisfactionOprah WinfreyWe celebrate a holiday that praises our success at genocide. It's a white celebration of colonization. That's not sadistic enough. We package it up with the image of a happy, smiling turkey. The emblem of the holiday is the animal that we slaughter en masse.
Marcus Baker in Ginny & Georgia, Season 2 Episode 1Thanksgiving cuisine is such a delightful symphony of flavor!
Elon Musk, November 2022There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey.
UnknownMay your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump
May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump
May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize
And may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!
I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Jon StewartThey should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting, like say, Turkeypocalypse.
UnknownThanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
Kevin JamesThe thing I'm most thankful for right now is my elastic waistband.
UnknownYou can't have a good Thanksgiving meal without a little bit of ketchup on the side.
Patrick MahomesAn optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
UnknownI absolutely adore Thanksgiving. It's the only holiday I insist on making myself.
Ina GartenThanksgiving Day is a good day to recommit our energies to giving thanks and just giving.
Amy GrantPeople really don't have to give you anything, so appreciate what people give you.
Gratitude, Quotes to think aboutAretha FranklinWhat do Black Friday shoppers and Thanksgiving Turkeys have in common?
Both know how it feels to be stuffed and cramped in narrow spaces.