Quote by Terry Jones (about Comedians)

You know, I've never thought of myself as a comedian.

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What really alarms me about President Bush's "War on Terrorism" is the grammar. How do you wage war on an abstract noun? How is "Terrorism" going to surrender? It's well known, in philological circles, that it's very hard for abstract nouns to surrender.

Terry Jones

Terrorism

We will definitely not burn the Koran, no. Not today, not ever.

Terry Jones

The funny thing about history is that we imagine that people didn't laugh in the old days, but of course they did, at stupid things.

Terry Jones

History

I'm cheerfully optimistic about life. Optimism is very important!

Terry Jones

Optimism

I don't think you need religion.

Terry Jones

What is meant by: "We mustn't give in to the terrorists"? We gave in to them the moment the first bombs fell on Afghanistan.

Terry Jones - Terry Jones's War on the War on Terror (2009)

Afghanistan Terrorism

Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.

Carl Reiner

Comedians

I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I don't think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.

Carrot Top

Comedians

You know, you come from nothing, you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!

Monty Python’s Life of Brian

Death

Brian: "You're all individuals!"
People: "Yes, we're all individuals!"
Brian: "You're all different!"
People: "Yes, we are all different!"
Man: "I'm not."

Monty Python’s Life of Brian

Character

Frenchman: "You empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
Sir Galahad: "Is there someone else up there we can talk to?"
Frenchman: "No! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Ah, I see you have the machine that goes "ping!". This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to - that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

Hospital Administrator in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part I: The Miracle of Birth

Obstetrician 1: "Get the EEG, the BP monitor, and the AVV."
Obstetrician 2: "And get the machine that goes 'ping!'."
Obstetrician 1: "And get the most expensive machine - in case the Administrator comes."

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Part I: The Miracle of Birth

We find your American beer like making love in a canoe. It's f-ing close to water.

Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl

Yorkshireman 1: "Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves."
Yorkshireman 2: "But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'."

Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl

What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Colonel: "Watkins, why did you join the army?"
Watkins: "For the water-skiing and the travel, sir. Not for the killing, sir. I asked them to put it on my form, sir: 'no killing'."
Colonel: "Watkins, are you a pacifist?"
Watkins: "No, sir. I'm not a pacifist, sir. I'm a coward."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

John Cleese

Barbecue Meat

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

John Cleese

Capitalism Business

No day of my life passes without someone saying the words "Monty Python" to me. It's not bad.

Eric Idle

We've discovered that the less we do, the more money we make.

Eric Idle

The human race should just slow down and think about what it is doing.

Michael Palin

Humanity

Contrary to what the politicians and religious leaders would like us to believe, the world won't be made safer by creating barriers between people.

Michael Palin

Borders

I loved every minute of Python and owe so much to them.

Carol Cleveland - June 2014

We're all in our 70s now and even doing 10 shows, with lots of costume changes, is going to be exhausting. And the guys have far more to do than me, obviously. But I have a feeling it might not be the last Python project ever. I wouldn't be surprised if they did another film.

Carol Cleveland - June 2014

I've given up asking questions. l merely float on a tsunami of acceptance of anything life throws at me... and marvel stupidly.

Terry Gilliam

Foolishness

Television and the media are everywhere and they are taking over so powerfully. They don't shut up for a second. So you are unable to think.

Terry Gilliam - Terry Gilliam's flying circus (2006)

Media Television

There are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.

Graham Chapman

Reason & Sanity Craziness & Weirdness

Quote by Terry Jones (about Comedians)

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