When it comes to locker rooms, I like 'em just like my mother's bathing suits: I only wanna see 'em in one piece.
Early drinkin’ means quick drunken.
Hey, takin' on a challenge is a lot like ridin' a horse. If you're comfortable while you're doin' it, you're probably doin' it wrong.
That right there, that's a scone. Tastes like a muffin except it sucks all the spit out of your mouth.
Ties and no playoffs? Why do you even do this?
"How do you take your tea?"
Ted: "Well, normally right back to the counter because there's been a terrible mistake."
Ted: "Well, normally right back to the counter because there's been a terrible mistake."
Rebecca: "So, I spoke to the owner of The Sun."
Ted: "You spoke to God?!"
Rebecca: "No, the newspaper."
Ted: "You spoke to God?!"
Rebecca: "No, the newspaper."
You know what the happiest animal in the world is? It's a goldfish. It's got a 10 second memory. Be a goldfish!
I think I literally have a better understanding of who killed Kennedy than what is offside.
George: "I love what you done with the place. Did you do it yourself, or did you get some pouf to help ya?"
Rebecca: "I could ask the same of your hair."
Rebecca: "I could ask the same of your hair."
Will you explain to me how that was offside? No, I'm asking you, seriously. Explain offside to me! It makes no sense.
You know, I always thought that tea was going to taste like hot brown water, and you know what? I was right. It's horrible.
