The best Quotes from Ted Lasso

The best Quotes from Ted Lasso

Ted Lasso is an American sports comedy television series, based on a character of the same name. The series premiered on Apple TV+ in August 2020 and was renewed for a second season five days after its premiere.

I like my water like Kylie Irving likes his earth... flat.

Season 2 Episode 8

When it comes to locker rooms, I like 'em just like my mother's bathing suits: I only wanna see 'em in one piece.

Early drinkin’ means quick drunken.

Hey, takin' on a challenge is a lot like ridin' a horse. If you're comfortable while you're doin' it, you're probably doin' it wrong.

That right there, that's a scone. Tastes like a muffin except it sucks all the spit out of your mouth.

Ties and no playoffs? Why do you even do this?

"How do you take your tea?"
Ted: "Well, normally right back to the counter because there's been a terrible mistake."

Rebecca: "So, I spoke to the owner of The Sun."
Ted: "You spoke to God?!"
Rebecca: "No, the newspaper."

Rebecca Welton

You know what the happiest animal in the world is? It's a goldfish. It's got a 10 second memory. Be a goldfish!

I think I literally have a better understanding of who killed Kennedy than what is offside.

George: "I love what you done with the place. Did you do it yourself, or did you get some pouf to help ya?"
Rebecca: "I could ask the same of your hair."

Rebecca Welton

Will you explain to me how that was offside? No, I'm asking you, seriously. Explain offside to me! It makes no sense.

You know, I always thought that tea was going to taste like hot brown water, and you know what? I was right. It's horrible.

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The only thing I command is respect.

Kyrie Irving

I love the gym; I love basketball. I'm really passionate about it.

Kyrie Irving

All I do is sit at home and watch Netflix.

Kyrie Irving

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

One downside of our big brains is we're the only creatures who are aware that death is inevitable. Although, if you lined ten dogs in a row and shot them one by one, the dog on the end would probably get the gist by about dog four.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Life - Episode 1

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Rebecca Welton

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