Quote by Taylor Tomlinson (about Breathing)

Quote by Taylor Tomlinson (about Breathing)

Hey has anybody else paid a therapist hundreds of dollars to tell you to "take some deep breaths"?

Taylor Tomlinson

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If I survive this... I promise never to get mad at anyone for hugging me at work ever again.

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Remember last week when your grocery list wasn't just 'GRAB WHATEVER IS LEFT'?

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You have to work on yourself in your 20s 'cause if you don't, then you'll turn 30, and all the shitty parts of your personality will solidify, and that'll just be who you are now. Your 20s are an opportunity to fish trash out of the lake before it freezes over.

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I've never faked it. I've never loved someone that much. I don't hand out trophies for showing up. Grab an orange slice and a Gatorade. Get back down there. Let's see some hustle, Andersen.

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Women are surprised when they find a guy who can make them come and straight dudes are surprised when they find a girl who can make them feel genuine feelings in their heart.

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I don't know if you guys have tried to get a 20-something dude from a dating app to wear a condom lately. But it's sort of like trying to convince a 5-year-old to put a jacket on over his Halloween costume. "Noo! You're gonna ruin it! You can't even see it!"

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Go on TikTok. There are teenage girls editing themselves into Harry Potter movies. I mean, it's incredible! If that technology existed when I was 11, I would have lost my virginity even later.

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California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.

Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - October 2022

New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.

Lalo Salamanca in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 5

California New Mexico

We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.

Lex Luthor in Superman

All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.

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Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.

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The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.

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Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.

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I mean, they say dou die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.

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Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.

Olaf Schubert in heute-show - heute-show vom 08.09.2017

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One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".

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To never be sick can't be healthy.

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A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

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Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!

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Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

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This is the end of Wladimir Putin.

Jan Böhmermann - February 2022

Vladimir Putin Russia-Ukraine War

People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.

Steve Harvey - February 2021

Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.

Gossip & Rumors

Spotify, the app with the entire history of recorded music that you only use to listen to four songs that you liked in high school.

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Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.

Dave Chappelle

The last person that was excited about a check with Donald Trump's name on it was Stormy Daniels.

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Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.

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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

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Germany... a country whose idea of a bedtime story is two children being left to die in the forest, before nearly being cooked and eaten and then murdering an old woman.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)

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Germany Fairytales

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

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