Quotes by Taylor Tomlinson

Taylor Elyse Tomlinson is an American stand-up comedian.

Quotes by Taylor TomlinsonImage-Source:

Hey has anybody else paid a therapist hundreds of dollars to tell you to “take some deep breaths”?

Taylor Tomlinson (American Comedian)

If I survive this... I promise never to get mad at anyone for hugging me at work ever again.

Taylor Tomlinson (American Comedian), via Twitter

Remember last week when your grocery list wasn't just 'GRAB WHATEVER IS LEFT'?

Taylor Tomlinson (American Comedian), via TwitterCorona-Jokes

You have to work on yourself in your 20s 'cause if you don't, then you'll turn 30, and all the shitty parts of your personality will solidify, and that'll just be who you are now. Your 20s are an opportunity to fish trash out of the lake before it freezes over.

Taylor Tomlinson (American Comedian)

I've never faked it. I've never loved someone that much. I don't hand out trophies for showing up. Grab an orange slice and a Gatorade. Get back down there. Let's see some hustle, Andersen.

Taylor Tomlinson (American Comedian)