Quotes by Taylor Tomlinson

Taylor Elyse Tomlinson is an American stand-up comedian.

Taylor Tomlinson belongs to the following category: Comedy

Quotes by Taylor TomlinsonImage-Source: Netflix

I don't know if you guys have tried to get a 20-something dude from a dating app to wear a condom lately. But it's sort of like trying to convince a 5-year-old to put a jacket on over his Halloween costume. "Noo! You're gonna ruin it! You can't even see it!"

Taylor Tomlinson
 
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Go on TikTok. There are teenage girls editing themselves into Harry Potter movies. I mean, it's incredible! If that technology existed when I was 11, I would have lost my virginity even later.

TikTok, Quotes about Harry PotterTaylor Tomlinson
 
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Hey has anybody else paid a therapist hundreds of dollars to tell you to "take some deep breaths"?

Taylor Tomlinson
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If I survive this... I promise never to get mad at anyone for hugging me at work ever again.

Taylor Tomlinson, via Twitter
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Remember last week when your grocery list wasn't just 'GRAB WHATEVER IS LEFT'?

Corona-JokesTaylor Tomlinson, via Twitter
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You have to work on yourself in your 20s 'cause if you don't, then you'll turn 30, and all the shitty parts of your personality will solidify, and that'll just be who you are now. Your 20s are an opportunity to fish trash out of the lake before it freezes over.

Taylor Tomlinson
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I've never faked it. I've never loved someone that much. I don't hand out trophies for showing up. Grab an orange slice and a Gatorade. Get back down there. Let's see some hustle, Andersen.

Taylor Tomlinson
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