Quotes and Lyrics by T-Pain

Bro. Who was the maniac that decided to be the first person to try an oyster? Who tf looked at a rock and was like, "I bet if I crack that b*tch in half there's gonna be something delicious in there"?! Then they cracked it and saw something form a nasal passage and was like BINGO!

Attention all homophobic idiots: if you're not attractive to straight women, you're probably not attractive to gay men. You can unclench now.

All I do is win, win, win no matter what
Got money on my mind, I can never get enough
And every time I step up in the building
Everybody hands go up
And they stay there, and they say yeah
And they stay there, up, down, up, down, up, down
'Cause all I do is win, win, win
And if you going in put your hands in the air, make 'em stay there

I'ma buy you a drank
And then I'ma take you home with me
I got money in the bank
Shawty, what you think 'bout that?
I'll be in the grey Cadillac

Booty goin' up, down
I ain't got no problem spendin' all of my money
Tryna see what's up now
I can do this all day like it ain't nuttin'

I can put you in the log cabin
Somewhere in Aspen
Girl ain't nothing to the Pain
Ain't tricking if you got it what you asking for

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

I grew up in Florida, where if you weren't comfortable dancing, you weren't going to get any girls.

Why can't you compare Washington State and Florida?
Because it'd be like comparing apples and oranges.

I'm honored that so many Floridians are supporting my efforts to rekindle the American Dream.

"How you gonna get a gun?"
"This is Florida. The God damn state is shaped like a gun!"

Florida is America's bas*ment: it's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators.

Wrong? We're in Florida. The state bird is a chicken finger.

Saudi Arabia... the country with bans on pork, alcohol and p*rn - or, as it's known in America: a Florida Breakfast.

Jerry: "Why Florida?"
Cat: "Because they don't ask questions. They play Volleyball, they party and they have fun."

Yeah, this life I'm livin'
All the advice been tipped in
Gave me that grip, no slippin'
Out of my mind, went trippin'

Yup, in my white tee
Yeah, call up Hype Williams for the hype, please
Uh, they gon' wipe you before you wipe me
On boxes of checks, not my Nikes

If life's a game of inches, then my dick has been the biggest

Get the f*ck away from me, I hate all of you, faithfully
This world was never made for me
Thankfully, I'm trained to see past all the lies, the ranks, the scenes
I'll shank my knees, then walk the plank and freeze

She told me put my heart in the bag
And nobody gets hurt
Now I'm running from her love, I'm not fast
So I'm making it worse
Now I'm digging up a grave, from my past
I'm a whole different person
It's a gift and a curse
But I cannot reverse it

I still see your shadows in my room
Can't take back the love that I gave you
It's to the point where I love and I hate you
And I cannot change you, so I must replace you, oh
Easier said than done, I thought you were the one
Listenin' to my heart instead of my head

And if you ever need a friend then you got me
And in the end, when I die, would you watch me?
And if I try suicide, would you stop me?
Would you help me get a grip or would you drop me?

I don't feel much pain
Got a knife in my back, and a bullet in my brain
I’m clinically insane
Walkin' home alone, I see faces in the rain

They got money for the war, but can't feed the poor.

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside, while still alive. Never surrender!

It's a rodeo, go on and touch your toes
I'ma hit you from the back and that's as far as it goes
I done knocked 'em all down like some dominoes

Okay, I pull up, hop out at the after party
You and all your friends, yeah, they love to get naughty
Sippin' on that Henn', I know you love that Bacardi
1942, I take you back in that 'Rari

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence
And leave me with my sins
Air around me feels just like a cage
Love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage

I advise you to not hide your feelings, don’t pretend to be okay when you’re not okay, don’t pretend to be happy when you’re sad, it’ll only lead to your misery.People always leave. Don’t get too attached.Some people just don’t deserve you. They aren’t ready for your level of loyalty or love. You have to remember that not everyone was raised like you. Not everyone has a pure heart or good intentions like you. And not everyone has your best interest and wants to see you succeed.'JUST CARRY ON.'

I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that.

Sometimes you just gotta let shit go and say 'to hell with it' and move on.

She told me that I'm not enough
And she left me with a broken heart
She fooled me twice and it's all my fault
She cut too deep, now she left me scarred

I never needed anything from you
And all I ever asked was for the truth
You showed your tongue and it was forked in two
Your venom was lethal, I almost believed you

All these punk motherf*ckers hitting my phone
You think we boys, I never seen you at one of my shows

I would not be alive if I gave in to one of the times
That I wanted to be six feet deep beneath all of our feet
I've given up on giving up

I know you don't like me, you wanna fight me
You don't want no problems at your party, don't invite me
I don't worry 'bout you n*ggas, please stop talking 'bout me
Always talking 'bout me 'cause you looking for the clouty

Flame up, light it
They see me and get excited
Two step, spin around, so fly, pilot
They sick, been hot way before Coronavirus

I can literally say antisemitic shit and they can't drop me. Now what?

Don't care what you say, nothin' on me
I don't care 'bout the lawyer fees
I don't care 'bout your loyalties
God will solve it all for me

I said my face bomb, ass tight
Racks stack up Shaq height
Jewelry on me, flashlight
I been lit since last night

Knock me down nine times but I get up ten.

I just find myself happy with the simple things. Appreciating the blessings God gave me.

I been the same dude my whole life.

After much consideration & conversation with my family, I've decided to give up smoke. Please respect my privacy at this time.

Barack Obama makes me feel good to be a black man.

Got that .40 on my side and I'm just rollin' patty cakes
Both my hands can do the job and I ain't talkin' m*sturbate

Everything is going Gucci, see me Lou V
I can't let a n*gga shoot me, I'm in a two seat

The Wu is too slammin' for these Cold Killin' labels
Some ain't had hits since I seen Aunt Mabel
Be doin' artists in like Cain did Abel
Now they money's gettin' stuck to the gum under the table
That's what you get when you misuse what I invent
Your empire falls and you lose every cent

We don't need to worry
'Cause when we fall, we know how to land
Don't need to talk the talk, just walk the walk tonight
'Cause we don't need permission to dance