While you're busy hangin' price tags, Bill Townsend, keep in mind that you aren't worth the skin God spent to wrap your bones in. You best pray he doesn't regret his investment in you as much as I regret mine.Maddie Townsend in Sweet Magnolias, Season 1 Episode 1
Helen: "I'm still researching the legal precedent for getting Bill's head on a silver platter."
Maddie: "It wasn't his head that caused the problem."
Kyle: "I'm just playing Puck. It's not even the lead."
Annie: "But it's the best part, and you're only a freshman."
Tyler: "Yeah, A Midsummer Night's Nerd!"
Annie Sullivan: "Maybe I should ask for autographs."
Tyler Townsend: "Well, he needs help spelling his name."
Kyle Townsend: "Oops, you forgot you aren't funny!"
Don't you dare apologize! That was the most magnificent thing I've seen you do since you ate that lizard in kindergarten.Helen Decatur in Sweet Magnolias, Season 1 Episode 1
All right, new cocktail. I started with rye to wish you a smooth finish. Added some bitters 'cause you have every right to be. Then champagne because this is truly a celebration. And finished with crème de pêche because your future is gonna be peachy.ChampagneDana Sue Sullivan in Sweet Magnolias, Season 1 Episode 1