Quotes by Steven Wright

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

They say the universe is expanding. That should help with the traffic.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.