Quotes by Steve Urkel

Song Quotes
Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Danger's my middle name. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture.

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Time to count our Christmas cards. One... now, let's read it!

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

I can't help it, Laura. I'm drawn to you. Like a moth to a flame. A bee to a blossom. A mouse to cheese.

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Eddie: 'Urkel, why don't you ever knock?'
Steve Urkel: 'Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in.'

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Laura: 'Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met!'
Steve Urkel: 'You heard her, you're all witnesses. She actually said, 'Human Being'. She's mine!'

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem.

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Laura: 'How long have we known each other?'
Steve Urkel: 'Nine years, three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, eight minutes, and fourteen seconds... fifteen seconds... sixteen seconds.'

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters in Season 2 Episode 3

I know I'm not worthy of you. But I just can't help loving you. It's like wanting to touch a star - you know you'll never reach it, but you just gotta keep trying.

Desire, Breakup & Lovesick, Love declerations
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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters in Season 1 Episode 14

Laura: Forget it, Steve, I don't even have time to be mean!'
Steve Urkel: 'Great, maybe I'll stay a while.'

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters in Season 1 Episode 14

Laura: 'Hide-and-seek, that's it.'
Steve Urkel: 'Oh, great, my parents play this with me all the time. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name.'

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Estelle Winslow: 'Steve, how did you get so good at checkers?'
Steve Urkel: 'Practice. Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends.'

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Laura: 'Where did you get the money for this?'
Steve Urkel: 'From my stay-away fund. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them.'

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Clarence: 'Yo, you a serious little nerd.'
Steve Urkel: 'No, I AM a serious little nerd. You see, I use verbs. Verbs are our friends. They help move along our sentences.'

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons.

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Laura: 'Thank you, Steve. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that.'
Steve Urkel: 'Oh, I understand.'
Laura: 'You did good.'
Steve Urkel: 'You love me, don't you?'

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press.

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Chicago, lock up your daughters! Mt. Urkel is about to erupt.

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Steve Urkel: 'I've taken a vow of chastity.'
Carl: 'Steve, you've always been chaste.'
Steve Urkel: 'Yeah, but now I have an excuse.'

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks.

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying.

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Carl: 'Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom?'
Steve Urkel: 'You yelled at me and you called me a butthead.'
Carl: 'Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead?'
Steve Urkel: 'Yes. It was my nickname in preschool.'

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