The best Quotes by Steve Urkel

The best Quotes by Steve Urkel

Danger's my middle name. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Time to count our Christmas cards. One... now, let's read it!

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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I can't help it, Laura. I'm drawn to you. Like a moth to a flame. A bee to a blossom. A mouse to cheese.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Eddie: 'Urkel, why don't you ever knock?'
Steve Urkel: 'Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Laura: 'Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met!'
Steve Urkel: 'You heard her, you're all witnesses. She actually said, 'Human Being'. She's mine!'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Laura: 'How long have we known each other?'
Steve Urkel: 'Nine years, three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, eight minutes, and fourteen seconds... fifteen seconds... sixteen seconds.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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I know I'm not worthy of you. But I just can't help loving you. It's like wanting to touch a star - you know you'll never reach it, but you just gotta keep trying.

Desire, Breakup & Lovesick, Love declerationsSteve Urkel in Family Matters, Season 2 Episode 3
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Laura: Forget it, Steve, I don't even have time to be mean!'
Steve Urkel: 'Great, maybe I'll stay a while.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 14
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Laura: 'Hide-and-seek, that's it.'
Steve Urkel: 'Oh, great, my parents play this with me all the time. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters, Season 1 Episode 14
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Estelle Winslow: 'Steve, how did you get so good at checkers?'
Steve Urkel: 'Practice. Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Laura: 'Where did you get the money for this?'
Steve Urkel: 'From my stay-away fund. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Clarence: 'Yo, you a serious little nerd.'
Steve Urkel: 'No, I AM a serious little nerd. You see, I use verbs. Verbs are our friends. They help move along our sentences.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Laura: 'Thank you, Steve. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that.'
Steve Urkel: 'Oh, I understand.'
Laura: 'You did good.'
Steve Urkel: 'You love me, don't you?'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Chicago, lock up your daughters! Mt. Urkel is about to erupt.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Steve Urkel: 'I've taken a vow of chastity.'
Carl: 'Steve, you've always been chaste.'
Steve Urkel: 'Yeah, but now I have an excuse.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying.

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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Carl: 'Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom?'
Steve Urkel: 'You yelled at me and you called me a butthead.'
Carl: 'Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead?'
Steve Urkel: 'Yes. It was my nickname in preschool.'

Steve Urkel in Family Matters
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