I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together.
It's like when your parents said "I'm not mad at you, just disappointed." You know that hurt so much more.
I am so glad I turned this idea down!
Jackass - The Movie
Hi, it's cold in Japan, so we're going to warm ourselves up with some fireworks.
Quotes about Steve-O
So, we've driven an hour north from Miami to Boca Raton, believe it or not, to film Steve-O jump into nine days worth of elephant poo.
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Concussions aren't great, but as long as you have them before you're 50, it's cool. And Knoxville's 49, so we're good.
Jackass - Forever
Hi sweetie, I'm gonna inseminate you artificially... maybe for real if you play your cards right.
Johnny Knoxville in Jackass - to a cow
I think I'm a little concussed.
Johnny Knoxville in Jackass - The Movie
You don't matter... in fact, in about 20 seconds you're not even gonna be matter.
There's no such thing as a "pretty good" gator wrestler!
They say Poland is the Mexico of Europe. I'm not sure of what that means, but I like it.
Bam Margera: "Oh, dude! My f*cking tailbone is seriously broken! I'm not even kidding!"
Ryan Dunn: "He broke his tailbone! That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one?"
Ryan Dunn: "He broke his tailbone! That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one?"
Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that!
Now I know what it feels like to be my liver!
Johnny Knoxville in Jackass - getting doused with wine
Oh dude, you look like an egg with legs!
Bam Margera in Jackass - about his dad with a Elvis suit on
Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, I promise I will get my mom to say, "f-" by the end of this movie.
That guy right there is the best damn roller skater ever. Maybe even in the whole town.
Bam Margera: "Now these rocket skates are going to be a little different than the last."
Johnny Knoxville: "You using different bottle rockets?"
Bam Margera: "Nope. Just more of 'em."
Johnny Knoxville: "You using different bottle rockets?"
Bam Margera: "Nope. Just more of 'em."
Bam Margera in Jackass - The Movie
Scott Potasnik: "You guys are gonna hate me an hour from now."
Johnny Knoxville: "We hate you already."
Johnny Knoxville: "We hate you already."
That had bad news written all over it!
Johnny Knoxville in Jackass - The Movie
You were about five feet short of a ten-foot jump.
It is strange with how little notice, good, bad, or indifferent, a man may live and die in London.
I've often thought a blind man could find his way through London simply by gauging the changes in innuendo: mild through Trafalgar Square, less veiled towards the river.
Louis Bayard - Mr. Timothy
I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.
I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive.
London. The beating heart of England.
England is my home. London is my home. New York feels like, if I have to spend a year living in an unfamiliar city, this is a pretty lovely one to spend a year in, but I will be going home at the end of it, certainly.
You're the crappiest human bowling ball I ever saw in my whole life!
I feel like my eyes have gonorrhea.
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!
How can you speak six languages and sound like a dick in every one of them?
Who takes a shit in the middle of a heist?
Spike Spiegel in Cowboy Bebop - Season 1 Episode 1
These are my poop shoes. That way no one knows it's me in the bathroom cause they don't see my shoes under the stall.
Whose d do I gotta suck to get some explosions around here?
Hi, I'm Bunny the Lifeguard, any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle them down, and probably have my way with them.
Chris Pontius in Jackass - The Movie
I'm Raab Himself and I'm a complete f*cking idiot!
Johnny Knoxville: "Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom?"
Dave England: "No man. I shit my pants at the fair."
Dave England: "No man. I shit my pants at the fair."
Dave England in Jackass - The Movie