People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.
February 2021
Harvey: "You gonna sit up here on national TV and say 'nekkid', and then point at the damn board like we gonna let you get away with it!"
Contestant: "I bet you said 'nekkid' in one of your comedy routines."
Harvey: "You on Family Feud! This ain't a comedy routine!"
Contestant: "I bet you said 'nekkid' in one of your comedy routines."
Harvey: "You on Family Feud! This ain't a comedy routine!"
Harvey: "When people talk about the big one, what do they refer to?"
Contestant: "A man's privates."
Harvey: "Family! I just got this job! What are you trying to do?"
Contestant: "A man's privates."
Harvey: "Family! I just got this job! What are you trying to do?"
Welcome to Family Feud! I'm your man Steve Harvey; we got another good one for you today.
Hi, folks. Over the summer, we've lost a beloved member of Family Feud, Richard Dawson, the original host of our show. Richard served as a panelist on Match Game, of which became an inspiration for the Feud. We would like to take a moment to remember him as a great man, who made our show an institution. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends. We will miss you, Richard. We sure will.
Family Feud - 2012
God lets you be successful because he trusts you that you will do the right thing with it. Now, does he get disappointed often? All the time, because people get there and they forget how they got it.
I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.
A person has to remember that the road to success is always under construction. You have to get that through your head. That it is not easy becoming successful.
Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.
I'm a comedian first. I've learned how to act. I just draw on life experiences and that's how I've learned. I didn't take classes or anything. I don't need no classroom.
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Karn: "Name a famous astronaut."
Contestant: "Neil Young."
Contestant: "Neil Young."
Dawson: "Name one of the Three Bears."
Air Force Captain: "Yogi."
Dawson: "This man's flying airplanes for us!"
Air Force Captain: "Yogi."
Dawson: "This man's flying airplanes for us!"
Combs: "We asked 100 women, name something women borrow from each other."
Contestant: "One another's husbands."
Contestant: "One another's husbands."
Combs: "Name a famous game show host who would make a great talk show host."
Contestant: "Well, Richard... uh, I mean Ray...-"
Combs: "You can call me Richard. Besides, he hosted the very same show I'm hosting now!"
Contestant: "Well, Richard... uh, I mean Ray...-"
Combs: "You can call me Richard. Besides, he hosted the very same show I'm hosting now!"
Dawson: "Name one of Santa's reindeer."
Contestant: "Adolf. "
Contestant: "Adolf. "
Dawson: "Real or fictional, name a famous 'Willie'."
Contestant: "Willie the Pooh?"
Contestant: "Willie the Pooh?"
Dawson: "Name a popular Halloween costume."
Contestant: "Santa Claus."
Contestant: "Santa Claus."
Dawson: "During what months of pregnancy does a woman begin to look pregnant?"
Contestant: "September."
Contestant: "September."
This is a family show, so both families never agreed not to be able to behave, like they're at home.
Louie Anderson in Family Feud - 1999
Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to remember a former host of Family Feud, Ray Combs. We lost Ray back in '96, but he'll be in our memory forever. He was also known for his humor, and was very loyal to our viewers. While Ray won't be around for this revival of the Feud, we will remember him for being part of our family, and we will miss him.
Louie Anderson in Family Feud - 1999
I have been studying all of the great CBS shows. I think I'm prepared, so if you're ready, let's have the first item up for bids! Wait a minute! That's the wrong show!
Ray Combs in Family Feud - 1988
What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.
In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.
They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to West Virginia - and that's pretty much the same thing.
Thank you, and welcome to Family Feud. That's where two typical American families fight it out for family honor, and a little spending money for the relatives. If I look happy tonight, I am. I just got the oil drilling rights to Jack Lord's hair!
Richard Dawson in Family Feud - 1975
I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I don't think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
As much money and life as you could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all - the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them.
Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.
Olaf Schubert in heute-show - heute-show vom 08.09.2017
One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".
To never be sick can't be healthy.
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!
Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.
This is the end of Wladimir Putin.
Jan Böhmermann - February 2022
Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.
Spotify, the app with the entire history of recorded music that you only use to listen to four songs that you liked in high school.
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - The Truth Behind Music Streaming
Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.
The last person that was excited about a check with Donald Trump's name on it was Stormy Daniels.
Oliver Welke in heute-show - Sendung vom 24.04.2020
Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.
If you see German soldiers, don't panic. They are here to help.
Donald Tusk (about German soldiers helping with floodings in Poland) - September 2024