The best Quotes by Steve Allen

The best Quotes by Steve Allen

Stephen Valentine Patrick William Allen (December 26, 1921 – October 30, 2000) was an American television and radio personality, comedian, musician, composer, writer and actor.

Dark energy is perhaps the biggest mystery in physics.
Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.
Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.
I personally find it difficult to accept that there could be anyone on earth insensitive to the comic abilities of Laurel and Hardy, Sid Caesar, Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, or Martin Short. But no matter who the comic entertainer is, there is always at least a minority prepared to say, 'What's all the excitement about? He doesn't seem funny to me.'
In general, the straight line of a joke sets up a premise, an expectation. Then the funny ending - the punch line - in a sense contradicts the original assumption by refusing to follow what had seemed a reasonable train of thought. Many jokes involve that simple matter of leaping outside what had appeared to be the rules of the game at the moment.

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No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.
Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 11
5
There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders.
Grüner Kobold in Spider-Man
2
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York
Frank Sinatra - New York, New York
2
Manhattan, for millions of our forefathers, the gateway to hope, opportunity and happiness beyond their wildest dreams. Today, that hope is still alive, it's called "The First Date". On Saturday nights, every restaurant in Lower Manhattan resembles its own little Ellis Island.
Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 3
2
I want to wake up in that city
That doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill
Top of the heap
Frank Sinatra - New York, New York
1
In a city that moves so fast, you get the Sunday paper on Saturday - how did any of us know how much time we had left?
Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 5
1
We are New Yorkers. Proud citizens of the greatest city on earth. Thinking big isn't new to us. It is the very foundation of who we are.
Regardless of our differences, this was still New York. A melting pot crammed onto an island, then pushed into a subway car with a rat eating pizza. You're not left or right. You're a New f*cking Yorker and we're in this together.
Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show - Debates Anti-Vax Mandate Protesters in NYC
Do you know how bad that coffee has to be to to be considered a health risk in New York? This is the same city where pizza gets delivered by a rat!
I don't wanna f*ck it up because one of us didn't prepare for the slim possibility of New York City traffic!
Michael Lawson in Uncoupled - Season 1 Episode 1
California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - October 2022
New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.
Lalo Salamanca in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 5
We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.
All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.
1
Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.
The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.
Things are tough all over, cupcake. An' it rains on the just an' the unjust alike... except in California.
Silk Spectre in Watchmen -
1
I read the Life magazine articles about free love and free dope in California. At age 20 I drove to Los Angeles.
That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.
Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 11 Episode 11
2
You know what's remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California.
Austin Powers in Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving.
12
I wondered if a memory is something you have or something you've lost.
11
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
2
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
2
Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
2
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
1
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
1
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
1
Every language has its own music.
Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.
In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.
Sid Caesar (American comedian and Jazz musician)
1
God knew, that the Jews were going to go through some shit. So he made one in ten of us crazy to keep the others entertained.
Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.
If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.
Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.
Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.
If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.
You know, not only am I campaigning, but I'm running the world.
Joe Biden - Juli 2024

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