The best Quotes by Stephen Leacock

The best Quotes by Stephen Leacock

Stephen P. H. Butler Leacock (30 December 1869 – 28 March 1944) was a Canadian teacher, political scientist, writer, and humorist. Between the years 1915 and 1925, he was the best-known English-speaking humorist in the world.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.
Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.
If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.
Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

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Heard your new joint, it's embarrassing, sh-t
You talk to the cops on some therapist sh-t
You act like you love this American sh-t
But, really, the truth is you scared of the Six
Drake - MELTDOWN, Album: Utopia (by Travis Scott)
Canada is a country of ingredients without a cuisine; we're a country with musicians without an indigenous instrument; Toronto's a city that doesn't even have a dish named after it.
If you don't know where you want to go, then it doesn't matter which path you take.
8
Alice: "How long is forever?"
White Rabbit: "Sometimes, just one second."
9
It is impossible only if you think it is.
The Mad Hatter in Alice In Wonderland
19
I'm not crazy - my reality is just different from yours.
41
Mad Hatter: "Have I gone Mad?"
Alice: "I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."
28
My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.
18
'It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,' says the White Queen to Alice.
4
'And what is the use of a book,' thought Alice, 'without pictures or conversation?'
6
Alice came to a fork in the road. 'Which road do I take?' she asked.
'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire Cat.
'I don't know,' Alice answered.
'Then,' said the Cat, 'it doesn't matter.'
18
If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.
8
'I don't think...'
'Then you shouldn't talk', said the Hatter.
16
I can't go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
14
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?
13
'But I don't want to go among mad people,' said Alice.
'Oh you can't help that,' said the cat.
'We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
'How do you know I'm mad?' asked Alice.
'You must be,' said the cat, 'or you wouldn't have come.'
11
Astronomy's much more fun when you're not an astronomer
Do not confuse Astronomy and Astrology - one is concerned with mysteries stellar and lunar, the other is mere lunacy.
Satyavati Shah in Hogwarts Legacy
I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. I'm really worried about myself. I was actually enjoying it.
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Perfection is impossible. In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches. But what percentage of points did I win? 54%! In other words, even top ranked tennis players win barely more than half the points they play. When you lose every second point on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot.
Roger Federer - Juni 2024
We've had a lot of away games in the Champions League this season where we've heard the fans. When I think of the game in Newcastle, where you can hear our fans the whole time, even though it was said beforehand that Newcastle is the loudest stadium in England – that's really saying something. We are looking forward to our fans, they will deliver again in Paris.

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