The best Quotes by Stephen Graham Jones

The best Quotes by Stephen Graham Jones

Stephen Graham Jones (born January 22, 1972) is a Blackfoot Native American author of experimental fiction, horror fiction, crime fiction, and science fiction. His most widely known works include the horror novels The Only Good Indians, My Heart is a Chainsaw, and Night of the Mannequins.

Vampires have become tragic or romantic figures. Vampire are largely seduction tales. They're no longer the scary creature in the dark.

I think America would do anything through a drive-through.

I feel very at home in L.A., I think, because it's dry, and there's sun, like the West Texas I grew up in.

Los Angeles Texas

Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.

Christmas Halloween

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'And you're worried, not because you're headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?'
'That's right,' I answered immediately, hiding my surprise at his casual use of the word.
He shook his head. 'You're incredible.'

Stephenie Meyer in Twilight -

12

About three things I was absolutely positive:
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him - and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Stephenie Meyer in Twilight -

12

If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third.

Heather Brewer in Vladimir Tod - Ninth Grade Slays

2

High School Vampires

'Morning, sunshine.'
Vlad blinked at her. 'Morning, sulfuric acid.'
'Pardon me?'
'Well, isn't it just kinda wrong to call a vampire 'sunshine'?'

Heather Brewer in Vladimir Tod - Eighth Grade Bites

2

Mulling this over, Vlad wiped her lip gloss from his lips with the back of his hand. Vampires, after all, didn't sparkle.

Heather Brewer in Vladimir Tod - Twelfth Grade Kills

2

Every day that you refuse to embrace your nature, you are closer to the day where it controls you. The day that you kill recklessly because you simply must feed.

Margot Fairmont in First Kill - Season 1 Episode 1

Vampires have always held a very seductive kind of lore and have always been some variety of attractive, whether it's attractiveness that's born of just the physical attributes that they have - this kind of ethereal beauty or translucent pallor - or whether it is more to do with the way they carry themselves.

Colin Farrell

If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America. They don’t care for human beings.

Nelson Mandela

3

This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.

Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 5

3

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Thomas Jefferson in Declaration of Independence

2

Human Rights USA Famous Quotes Independence Day

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now.

Martin Luther King

2

Tolerance USA Independence Day

Not only are you wrong... but you are belligerently sticking to your guns and insulting me in the process. Robin Scherbatsky, you are an American.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 5

2

Robin Scherbatsky USA

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust"
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Francis Scott Key - Star-Spangled Banner

2

USA Independence Day

Americans are the best entertained and quite likely the least well-informed people in the Western world.

Neil Postman

1

That's L.A. They worship everything and they value nothing.

Sebastian Wilder in La La Land

1

Welcome to a city where people trying to disappear aren't actually trying.

Joe Goldberg in You - Season 2 Episode 2

1

I lived in L.A. for a few months. It seemed like no one there had parents. Or if they did have parents, they would deny it.

Catherine O'Hara

1

Linda: "Why did you decide to come to Los Angeles?"
Lucifer: "The same reason as everyone else: the weather, p*rnstars, Mexican food."

Lucifer Morningstar in Lucifer - Season 1 Episode 3

1

People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.

Craig Kilborn

Los Angeles was the kind of place where everybody was from somewhere else and nobody really droppped anchor.

Michael Connelly in The Lincoln Lawyer - The Brass Verdict

The L.A. weather is a lot like Taiwan's, where you don't observe four seasons, so the years can pass and you don't feel a thing.

Los Angeles Taiwan

Dante: "[seeing a Confederate flag] What? Are you serious?"
Lila: "Newsflash, we're in deep Texas."

Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 2022

The stars at night, are big and bright,
deep in the heart of Texas,
The prairie sky is wide and high,
deep in the heart of Texas.

1

Of course, nobody I knew in East-Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian Physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig.

Sheldon Cooper in Young Sheldon - Season 1 Episode 1

1

When a Texan gets knocked off a horse, he gets right back on. That is the second most important thing about bein' a Texan, right after thinkin' you're better than everybody else.

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 4 Episode 8

"Did you grow up in Texas?"
Meemaw: "Took my first bath in a ten-gallon hat."

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 2 Episode 13

Sheldon: "Texas, Oklahoma... what's the difference?"
Meemaw: "Hey, now, I think you might want to crack open your psychology textbook 'cause that there is crazy talk."

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 2 Episode 9

Amy: "Lino's reinventing Thanksgiving."
Zora: "Oh, good. 'Cause if there's anything Texans love, it's different sh-t."

From Scratch - Season 1

For it is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child Himself.

Charles Dickens in A Christmas Carol

6

Children & Childhood Christmas

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future.

Charles Dickens in A Christmas Carol

4

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Erma Bombeck

3

Children & Childhood Christmas

I think as you grow older your christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want can't be bought.

Earl Dibbles Jr.

3

Kate: "We have to hang the stockings and make the eggnog. It just won't be Christmas without it!"
Claire: "Oh, honey, there is more to Christmas than all that stuff."

Claire Pierce in The Christmas Chronicles

1

It's true, Christmas can feel like a lot of work, particularly for mothers. But when you look back on all the Christmases in your life, you'll find you've created family traditions and lasting memories. Those memories, good and bad, are really what helps to keep a family together over the long haul.

Caroline Kennedy

1

Memories Family Christmas

Spring is coming, but the air is chilled
It reminds me of the winter fires we would always build
Hiding from the cold is always warmer in your arms
Whenever you are kissing me, it is Christmas in my heart

Colbie Caillat - Every Day Is Christmas

1

Halloween. The one day of the year it's socially acceptable to play dress-up. The only question is, who do you want to be? There are costumes to make men feel like boys again. Or turn little girls into queens.

Gossip Girl in Gossip Girl - Season 3

3

Like all good things the witching hour must come to an end. True natures are revealed. Tricks are turned into treats. And taking off costumes is as much fun as putting them on. Except for little girls who forget that Halloween is only one night. They wear their costumes for so long pretty soon they can’t even remember who they were before they put them on. XOXO - Gossip Girl.

Gossip Girl in Gossip Girl - Season 3

3

Appearance Halloween

Everyone here knows that Halloween was invented by the candy companies. It's a conspiracy!

Max Dennison in Hocus Pocus

1

Man, I love Halloween. It's the only time of year when a black man can wear a mask at night and not get arrested!

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

1

Billy: "Halloween's a magical holiday. All about family, friends, and the thrill of getting to be someone else for a day."
Tommy: "Wrong! Halloween's about candy. And scaring people, but mostly candy."

Tommy Maximoff in WandaVision - Season 1 Episode 6

1

Halloween is all about being bold, daring, and creative. You get to be someone else for the night thanks to makeup and a costume.

Jeffree Star

1

Every Halloween I bring a spare costume. In case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way I have a second chance to make a first impression.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 1 Episode 6

1

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

There are two kinds of big companies in the United States. There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese, and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese.

James Comey

I believe that Americans should be deeply skeptical of government power. You cannot trust people in power. The founders knew that. That's why they divided power among three branches, to set interest against interest.

James Comey

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