Guns don't kill people, people kill people! Guns defend people against people with smaller guns.Gun-Control0
Gummi Bears?! He replaced my bullets with Gummi Bears from the mini bar... that's gonna cost me $7!0
Roger: 'I once survived four days in a Del Taco parking lot extracting life-saving nutrients from puddles and bird shit.'
Steve: 'Why didn't you just go into the Del Taco?'
Roger: 'I'm a Taco Bell man.'
When I joined the CIA, I knew the deal. If we make a mistake, we cover it up. Like the time Dick accidentally created feline AIDS and we covered it up by blaming it on gay cats.0
Hello, Bill Gates? Turns out I’m the richest guy in the world, because I have an adoring wife and a loving family.
Hello, UNICEF? Yes, I’d like to donate some of my immense riches. What’s that? Children are still starving in Africa because wife love is worthless to you? What an odd policy!
Ah, saturday afternoon TV. Where the sneaky networks hide all the good shows.0