Sprüche von Stan Marsh (South Park)

Sprüche von Stan Marsh (South Park)

Stanley "Stan" Marsh is a fictional character in the adult animated television series South Park. He is voiced by and loosely based on series co-creator Trey Parker. Stan is one of the series' four central characters, along with Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick.

Gerald Broflovski: "Well that does it, I'm going to the police!"
Stan: "For what?"
Gerald Broflovski: "To find out where Apple is keeping my son."
Stan: "Dude, when the police want to know where somebody is, they ask Apple!"
South Park - Season 15 Episode 1
2
Cartman: "I'm not the one walking around all day like Pippi Longstocking."
Stan: "Well, at least my mom isn't on the cover of Crack Wh*re magazine."
South Park - Season 1 Episode 7
Teacher: "You think art is not important?"
Stan: "Well, art is just kinda for gaywads."
Butters: "I love our class!"
Stan: "See?!"
South Park - Season 7 Episode 2
3
Kyle: "It's Mr. Hanky! I think he's in some kind of trouble."
Stan: "Dude, how do you tell if a piece of poo is in trouble?"
South Park - Season 2 Episode 9
A summer without fireworks sucks ass.
South Park - Season 2 Episode 8
Stan: "We're not getting on, you ugly b*tch!"
Ms. Crabtree: "What did you say?!"
Stan: "I said, we're not getting on, you ugly b*tch!"
Ms. Crabtree: "Oh, all right then."
Kyle: "Woah, dude.'"
Stan: "I always wondered if that would work."
South Park - Season 1 Episode 13
1
Stan: "We always run late, you sk*nk."
Ms. Crabtree: "What did you say?!"
Stan: "I can't wait to own a fishing tank."
South Park - Season 1 Episode 7
Stan: "That fat b*tch won't let us."
Ms. Crabtee: "What did you say?!"
Stan: "I said that rabbits eat lettuce."
South Park - Season 1 Episode 1
1
Stan: "Whatever, you fat b*tch."
Ms. Crabtree: "What did you say?!"
Stan: "I said, I have a bad itch."
South Park - Season 1 Episode 1
2

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I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like... it makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.
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Do you know what happened to the last people Germans were pissed off at? Tell him, Kyle!
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A bl*wjob isn't with your mouth, it's with your heart. Now get on your knees and put that heart to work.
Randy Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 11
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Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?
Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 11 Episode 12
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Terrorist: "America had other enemies before the Muslims, you know? Who is America's oldest enemy?"
Cartman: "The Russians?"
Terrorist: "Before that!"
Cartman: "The Germans?"
Terrorist: "Before that."
Cartman: "The Germans again?"
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 11 Episode 4
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What's the matter, you got some sand in your v-gina?
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 5 Episode 2
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When a chick says we need to talk, you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 14 Episode 10
4
Statistically speaking, the most bacteria-ridden place on the planet is the mouth of an American woman.
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 13 Episode 1
4
Cartman: "Have you seen this trick? When someone's sleeping, you can take a glass of warm water, and when you put their hand in it..."
Stan: "And then what?"
Cartman: "...and then you pee on them!"
Kyle: "No, dude! You're supposed to put their hand in warm water to make THEM pee!"
Cartman: "Really? Oh well."
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 6 Episode 2
4
[Playing Chatroulette with Kyle] This is the way the world works, if you want to find some quality friends you have to wade through all the dicks fist.
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 14 Episode 4
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Stan: "Rings that say they not gonna have sex or doing anything naughty anymore."
Butters: "A ring that says you'll be together but not have sex... isn't that called the wedding ring?"
Butters Stotch in South Park - Season 13 Episode 1
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The only way to fight hate is with even more hate!
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 9 Episode 11
3
I can't lose weight, Butters, because I'm not fat, I'm big-boned. You can't slim down bones, stupid!
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 6 Episode 1
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Stan: "Dude, I wonder where Kyle is."
Cartman: "Maybe he caught a disease and died, that'd be so awesome."
Stan: "Dude that's not funny, you shouldn't joke about that."
Cartman: "Who's joking?"
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 7 Episode 11
3
Mr. Garrison: "Then maybe you can tell me who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early sixties."
Eric Cartman: "A bunch of fat old sk-nks on their periods?"
Mr. Garrison: "Right, but who was the fattest oldest sk-nk on her period?"
Mr. Garrison in South Park - Season 7 Episode 5
3
Chefkoch: "Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him."
Stan: "Marry him?"
Chefkoch: "It definitely worked for every woman i ever met."
Chef in South Park - Season 6 Episode 2
3
But, years from now, when you're old and have children of your own, what would you give to come back and fight this one day? This one day, where you could have made a difference. Where you could've told Scott Tenorman: 'You may take our pride, but you will never take my god damn $16.12!'
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 5 Episode 1
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Cartman: "I sneaked around my mom's closet and saw what I'm getting: the Ultra Vibe Pleasure 2000."
Stan: "What's that?"
Cartman: "I don't know, but it sounds sweet."
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 1 Episode 9
3
You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado.
You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody.
My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?'
Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.
2
"Oh yes, time flies and before you know it you're old," said Pippi. "Come autumn I'll be ten, and I suppose I'll be past my prime then."
6
"But nightshirts aren't dangerous," Pippi assured her. "They don't bite anybody except in self defense."
4
"Why I walked backwards?" Pippi said. "We live in a free country, don't we? Aren't you allowed to walk any way you want?"
4
Jacob: "Are you Steve Jobs?"
Cal: "What?"
Jacob: "Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?"
Cal: "No."
Jacob: "Oh, OK. In that case, you've got no right to wear New Balance sneakers, ever."
Jacob Palmer in Crazy, Stupid, Love.
1
All I think about is all the problems our generation is inheriting. Climate change, over fishing, Kyle... I mean, how are we supposed to get happy about anything?
Eric Cartman in South Park - Season 23 Episode 1
Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 1 Episode 1
Chefkoch: "Why 'oh oh'?"
Gerald Brovlovski: "Chef, that's Johnny Cochran. He's the one that got O.J. off."
Chefkoch: "Oh oh..."
Chef in South Park - Season 2 Episode 14
I'm not gonna be confused anymore just because you say I should be! My name is Butters, I'm eight years old, I'm blood type O, and I'm bi-curious! And even that's okay! Because if I'm bi-curious, and I'm somehow made from God, then I think your God must be a little bi-curious himself!
Butters Stotch in South Park - Season 11 Episode 2
I'm not high! I haven't been high since Wednesday. Oh, oh it is Wednesday?
Mr Garrison: "What is 5x2? Come on, children. Don't be shy, just give it your best shot. Yes, Clyde?"
Clyde: "12?"
Mr Garrison: "Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard."
I've learned something today. You can't win all the time. If you don't win, you can't hold it against the person who did. Because that's the only way you ever really lose.
Wendy Testaburger in South Park - Season 1 Episode 2
1
Randy: "Can't you see that if we fall to New Jersey, California is next?"
Schwarzenegger: "No, because Utah is between Colorado and California."
Randy: "Fine. Well, when Utah gets taken over by New Jersey, then who's next?"
Schwarzenegger: "Nevada."
Randy: "Oh really? Okay Mr. 'I'm Awesome at Geography'!"
Randy Marsh in South Park - Season 14 Episode 9
1
Everything's legal in Mexico, it's the American way.
Uncle Jimbo in South Park - Season 2 Episode 8
Officer Barbrady: "Well just as soon as I handle all the other crime in South Park, I'm gonna go with you to the planetarium, so I can prove that nothing's wrong."
Stan: "What other crime in South Park?"
Officer Barbrady: "Oh yeah... let's go."
Officer Barbrady in South Park - Season 2 Episode 11
Officer Barbrady, let's pretend for one second that we had a competent law enforcement officer in this town. What would he do?
Mayor McDaniels in South Park - Season 2 Episode 2

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