Don't ask me why people laugh - that is the mystery of it all.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again!
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth.
I don't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with Charles Chaplin.
Another fine mess you've gotten me into.